Cuteness

It is easy to be cute,

when you are always bad.

Just say one sweet thing,

and I am no longer mad.

 

You do drive me mad though,

I do not know how to handle you.

And you do not know what to do with me,

we both don’t seem to have a clue.

 

You can be sweet like sugar,

warm like the sun,

and then bang, cold as ice,

I should’ve been long gone.

 

Yet I am still here,

thinking about that handsome face,

feeling so happy to be in your arms,

wishing we could do this for days.

 

You are an amazing man,

but your insecurity torments me,

you are so unsure about everything,

yet somehow you do not set me free.

 

It feels so perfect when you are here,

when it is just us against the rest,

I know you feel the same way,

it’s just too bad time goes by so fast.

 

You make me forget what time it is,

you make me feel like loving a man,

a man that might not love me back,

but that I somehow understand.

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Old-fashioned

You are the old fashioned type,
Being all gentlemen-like, so smooth.
So we were wrong from the get-go,
As I was the person to make the first move.

 

You are so many years younger than me,
And so many more than the guy before,
But somehow I can’t take my eyes off you,
somehow I want you more.

 

Set up for failure, my love,
I do not understand the allure, my love,
But somehow I can’t get enough,
I can’t get enough.

When we are at the club,

I dance, I smile, being at my best,

then some guy comes up to me,

and you respond real fast.

 

You get jealous at the blink of an eye,

there is that classic man again,

Am I mistaken possession for love,

Are you my lover, or just a friend?

 

Set up for failure, my love,
I do not understand the allure, my love,
But somehow I can’t get enough,
I can’t get enough.

 

You say you hate your house,

a great location but that is it,

But if I ask you to live with me,

you don’t seem to think it’ll fit.

 

Does it not fit in your heart,
to love me, deeply and dearly,
or do you not see a future here,

even though I see it so clearly?

 

Set up for failure, my love,
I do not understand the allure, my love,
But somehow I can’t get enough,
I can’t get enough.

 

We are just set up for failure man,

I cannot seem to understand.

And yet I cannot walkt away

I just want to be with you another day.

Just like before

We cuddled when we met again,

it has been what, six years?

but now we are just friends,

nothing complicated, no lovers, no fears.

 

As we were standing there,

at the concert hall, way too close together,

I noticed how I did care,

how all of this actually did matter.

 

Sometimes you would look at me,

fascinated by how I was singing along,

I felt so happy and so free,

but I also knew, this was not about the song.

 

This was about us, what we have been,

And better yet, what we are now,

but what I could not have foreseen,

was that is was about our future somehow.

 

We were standing so close to one another,

You pressed your body against mine,

But weird enough I did not really bother,

cause it actually felt fine.

 

It felt like it was meant to be,

even when it was a fucked up thing,

You know you are special to me,

I warned you about me not being a fling.

 

And yet there it was, I am not sure how,

but our lips found each other naturally,

and I feel so confused right now.

Has this happened, really?

 

Who would know after all these years,

of grief and new opportunities, of love and loss,

Me getting over my fears, you crying your tears,

how our paths would somehow cross.

 

It is hard not to see it as destiny,

it is also hard to not to give in to this lust,

how do you, after all these years, still get to me,

after our relationship turned to dust.

 

All I know is you hold a special place in my heart,

and this might just be something solely about passion,

cause deep inside we are both scarred,

and outside we are deeply longing for attention.

A taste of what you missed

We were too close and I knew it,
You are a danger to anything I have built up,

But yet I let you go through with it,

And now everything else is just fucked up.

You said you just wanted a taste,

a taste of what you have missed,

But in your lust, and in your haste,

you forgot what I said before we kissed.

 

I said if we do it now it will be forever,

but you did not care about it,

we will not get back together, never,

and now even our friendship went to shit.

 

It is all so strange cause I love you so,

I care so much about someone,

that is ready to use me like this though,

and now what, are we done?

 

 

I can’t lie, our lips locking in

It felt like a million bucks,

But in reality it was just a bucket full of sin,

and then you not giving any fucks.

 

Your hands on me, it felt so divine,

and yet it was such devilish deceit,

At that moment it all felt fine,

not knowing to you I was just a piece of meat.

Love seduction

We have been hanging out for a few months,

never really trying to be anything,

but yet there is this label thing we need to get through,

cause what if I am not your everything?

 

At first I was fine with just hanging out,

I enjoyed your company, really,

and you’ve enjoyed mine too,

but inside of me grew a feeling of possibility.

 

My mind went on a dangerous path,

the way you would caress my neck,

started to feel like something other,

than me pushing my fingernails into your back.

 

A game began of push and pull,

I was reading your intentions wrong,

while you were constantly thinking for me,

and yet amidst it all, my feelings were growing strong.

 

Now I find myself on the couch,

not able to concentrate one bit,

how can something feel so tragic,

when we seem to be an amazing fit?

 

I wish we could stay in our bubble forever,

waking up together, so relaxed,

watching your eyes watch mine,

when we are around each other, it’s fine.

 

But at some point I have to leave,

and lately I notice myself that I stay,

in this weird loving state,

but you do not want me that way.

 

Days go by and I do not hear a thing,

and then those bad feelings start to kick in,

How can one be so loving and yet so distant?

Dumb girl, this has been this way since the beginning.

 

I just fail to see it somehow,

blinded by the seduction that is called love,

while I know exactly what is what,

yet my heart can’t get enough.

 

I need a brake

No butterflies, you said last week,

you looked at me, killing me,

I guess that is dating in 2017,

everybody just wants to be free.

 

Do you really want to be free as well?

I do not, I want you,

I feel for you, hard, wanting you,

and sometimes it seems you want that too.

 

Especially when we go out with friends,

and you put your arms around me,

you play with my long hair,

and I am as happy as can be.

 

You seem to be sweeter to me lately,

calling me your girlfriend, meany.

even when your friends are around,

you truly are a mystery.

 

The odd thing is I cannot stop,

I can’t seem to tell my heart,

not to get in so deep.

but this was hellbent from the start.

 

It is hard to let you go,

especially now that you act so cute,

please do not play with my fragile heart,

cause this change of plans it can’t compute.

Over the edge

You were supposed to come by in the afternoon,

but I decided to ask you to come in the night,

cause the night is beautiful,

when everything is dark and the stars are bright.

 

You must have wanted to see me too,

As soon as you came in the door,

I felt a peace come over me,

I was so nervous before.

 

There is something comforting in your eyes,

and yet something that makes me sad,

I long for so much more of you,

but I shouldn’t, cause it is bad.

 

We had a few drinks, before we went upstairs,

We laid so close together under the cover,

I felt your breath on my face.

and I was so glad to be your lover.

 

Something about you makes me long for more,

The way our bodies connected,

The way you look at me, holding me,

it is so hard not to be infected.

 

A perfect night turned into a perfect weekend,

You lay on my bed on a lazy Sunday morning,

I made us breakfast, you were playing a game,

and my heart instantly forgot about the warning.

 

Don’t fall for this guy, broken girl, don’t do it.

It was too late, way too late,

Just seeing your body, hearing you talk,

It all makes me feel so great.

 

I ran a hot bath, for us to be extra lazy,

And as soon as we sat down, you closed your eyes,

You were enjoying this as much as I was,

was this love in some awful, wrong disguise?

 

I am over the edge, and it will kill me,

cause you are not ready to feel the same,

and you will break my heart, unintentionally,

and I am the one to blame.

 

I had been warned before,

I knew I was going too far, my heart was blind,

but that perfect weekend together,

will never leave my mind.

Dead butterflies

I feel them flapping their wings,

I sense their urge to fly and flutter,

Everytime I look into your eyes,

It is like my heart starts to stutter.

 

I cannot let it go this far,

Cause I know what you will say.

I am not ready to hear those words from you,

Not tomorrow, not today.

 

You will say the words I have heard,

a thousand times before.

And you will break the leftovers in my heart,

till there is no way of breaking them anymore.

 

Are there still butterflies in the world?

I keep on catching dead ones.

 

Are you not okay to just pick me,

Or is your heart not in it, though your mind is?

Is this dating in this day and age,

cause it makes it hard to feel bliss.

 

I want you so bad,

but it’s best giving you the cold shoulder, I guess,

You might even come around then,

when did love become such a mess?

 

Are there still butterflies in the world?

I keep on catching dead ones.

 

I am surprised I still feel them,

inside of me, waiting to spread their wings and fly,

even though I keep bumping into caterpillars,

they are just not ready to die.

Ball and chain

I thought you were just playing games,

being your flirtatious little self.

Until you were not.
I thought we could just be friends,

even though you wanted to be silent.

Cause of your wife.
I thought there could have been stuff happening. 

I thought youd be open minded like that.

But it was just an act.
Now I am ready to take things to the next level,

I am waiting for that one sign.

Now that the fruit is forbidden.

They don’t understand

You are in my head,

like a Disney-song, stuck.

I tried so hard to get you out,

but I guess it wasn’t my luck.

 

They don’t understand my sorrow,

they have not lived it,

they don’t know the pain it causes,

how my soul is forever encrypted.

 

I still try to wrap my brain around it,

Even my friends do not understand.

but they look at me, trying to help,

it’s nice but it doesn’t work, dear friend.

 

They don’t understand my sorrow,

they have not felt the pain inside,

no insecurity about making the choice,

no salty tears like the ones I cried.

 

I look at you, knowing I should not,

It is as if looking at an open heart surgery,

You don’t want to look but it’s so fascinating,

loving you while knowing it will never be.

 

They don’t understand my sorrow,

they have not gone through it all,

no tears, no stress, no sleepless nights,

no feeling high before the fall.