That night we had a phonecall for four hours straight,
We talked, we laughed, we flirted,
it was a Saturdaynight, and though I was sober,
you definitely weren’t.
If you’d be sober too, I know we would not talk like this,
you would be silent,
you would not dare to say anything much,
are you not comfortable or not interested?
I caught myself looking it up on google,
why does he only reach out to me when he’s drunk?
Are you afraid of me when you are sober,
or are you simply just not that into me?
I don’t know what to do about this shit,
I was supposed to just have you make me feel good,
Good about myself again, after a hurtful relationship,
You weren’t supposed to fix me, just make me feel a woman again.
In some sense you could not have me feel any more like a woman though,
I am sitting here, being in love,
like some kind of crazy teenager.
It is driving me nuts.
I don’t want to be like this,
I don’t want to be rejected,
that was exactly the point,
to get out of that sad and lonely feeling.
I am running from myself,
and I was counting on you.
I need you to keep me sane,
but yet you are the one making me lose it all.