I’ll be okay

You stare at me with your big eyes,
I can see the pain and frustration.
I know you are trying to understand,
But stop seeing me as your patient.

Everytime you see the scars,
I see you watching the marks,
I feel you overthinking,
Hoping I’ll show you my cards.

You never seem to realise,
I am not able to share this with you,
Not because I do not want to,
But because there is nothing you can do.

Everytime we do this,
I will tell you I’ll be okay,
But I am starting to wonder,
Do I say it for you or for me?

At first I believed myself,
I thought this was just a phase.
I really had this scenario in mind,
That I could leave this behind.

These last few weeks have been different,
I notice myself saying I’ll be fine,
Not trying to comfort the people I love,
But just trying to convince this heart of mine.

While the truth of the matter is,
I am not sure if I will be okay.
So scared for the future,
I am nervous for a new day.


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