You stare at me with your big eyes,
I can see the pain and frustration.
I know you are trying to understand,
But stop seeing me as your patient.
Everytime you see the scars,
I see you watching the marks,
I feel you overthinking,
Hoping I’ll show you my cards.
You never seem to realise,
I am not able to share this with you,
Not because I do not want to,
But because there is nothing you can do.
Everytime we do this,
I will tell you I’ll be okay,
But I am starting to wonder,
Do I say it for you or for me?
At first I believed myself,
I thought this was just a phase.
I really had this scenario in mind,
That I could leave this behind.
These last few weeks have been different,
I notice myself saying I’ll be fine,
Not trying to comfort the people I love,
But just trying to convince this heart of mine.
While the truth of the matter is,
I am not sure if I will be okay.
So scared for the future,
I am nervous for a new day.