Supposed to be friends

You were just a friend.
Not even mine,
But there was something about you,
That gave me a piece of mind.

You were just a friend,
when our eyes met at her place,
I tried not think too much into it,
But it was written all over my face.

You were just a friend.
When we started texting on a daily basis,
our conversations intensified,
and I wondered what it was.

You were just a friend.
When you asked me out for a drink,
My heart was screaming out yes,
but then, what would my boyfriend think?

You were just a friend.
When you confused me with your awesomeness,
Cause you kept telling me beautiful words,
warm things that felt like a soft caress.

 

You were just a friend.
When I tried to not fall for you,
When I tried so hard not to be that girl,
who in the end did not come through.

You were just a friend.
When our lips met at the train station,
When I just decided we had to stay friends,
Your lips made me feel like vacation.

You were just a friend.
When you dared to kiss me again,
And when I kissed you back passionately,
I realized you could not be my friend.

Advertisements

Coco’s

I just want to sit in a dark corner in Coco’s Outback with you, having an intimate drunk conversation about everything that matters.

Cinema

I just want to sit next to you in the dark cinema, offer you candy cause you are so sweet, and so you will move your head close to mine again and again, making my heart beat faster and faster.

It’s not that

That fateful day when you broke my heart,
It was in a million pieces.
I tried to pick them up, and put them back again.
But I did not realize I was all alone.

And when I did, shit got hard.
I needed to get used to the loneliness,
as the loneliness I’d have felt before, was nothing like it.
And as low as I was, little did I know shit was only going to get worse.

Cause you did not try.
You did not lift a finger.
You did not dare to say the words,
and that has left my whole being in pieces.

Pieces that will probably never be picked up,
pieces that I will have to miss in my character forever.
Pieces that other people that want to be close to me, will curse me for, or even you.
Pieces that would have been fine, had you not walked away so limpy as you did.

I don’t know how to feel about it anymore.
I feel sorry for you, for being such a coward, incapable of breaking us up yourself.
At the same time you apparently still have feelings too, so I might need to feel sad for you, as you probably wanted a happily ever after too.
But sometimes I can only feel the rage, that is building up inside of me, a rage that does not fit my personality, cause it is simply too big, too deep, and too much all together.
But most of all, it is too true. It is legit, and it should stay inside.

The embrace

We sat there, next to each other,
but yet with something big between us.
Would it go away if I acted on it?
Was it even there in the first place?

You must have felt the same.
You put your arm around me,
the comfort I felt, was indescribable
The longing for more, turned into something unstoppable.

And you must have felt the same.
Your warm embrace turned warmer,
Your face was so close to mine,
You looked so fine man, so fine.

 

Don’t make me fall

It was painful,
it hurted me,
in more ways
than I could imagine.

And now I finally,
got back up,
I have accepted my faith,
Ready to rock again.

But then there’s you.
You who has been there,
for quite a while.
I thought I had forgotten.

But I hadn’t,
I should have,
but I hadn’t
And now I am down,

I am down
cause you made me fall
you made me fall in love with you
all over again.

no matter how hard I try
to unfall in love with you
to view you as just this guy
that is close to me in life,

I can’t help but want more,
even though we ain’t good
We are good to each other,
but we are not good for each other.

I guess opposites attract,
but how long can one attraction take?
what kind of chemical madness is this,
making me want you after so many years.

Play

I sat in the corner of your couch, watching you play beautiful music so passionately, staring at you so intensely, your passion lit my heart on fire.

The moment

Staring deeply in your eyes
Our warm, soft lips touch,
and our tongues find each other,
while I run my fingers through your hair.

You whisper into my ear,
how I smell and kiss so good.
While I nibble your ear,
feeling your body movement with my hands.

My breathing gets more intense,
as the spark that is between us,
is only getting bigger through this moment of passion,
The longing for more is bigger than us two.

You ask me to stay.
To think about a question like that
while we both know that thinking is not a thing to do right now.
So I let you take me away, into that other world.

Drunken Monkey

That night we had a phonecall for four hours straight,
We talked, we laughed, we flirted,
it was a Saturdaynight, and though I was sober,
you definitely weren’t.

If you’d be sober too, I know we would not talk like this,
you would be silent,
you would not dare to say anything much,
are you not comfortable or not interested?

I caught myself looking it up on google,
why does he only reach out to me when he’s drunk?
Are you afraid of me when you are sober,
or are you simply just not that into me?

I don’t know what to do about this shit,
I was supposed to just have you make me feel good,
Good about myself again, after a hurtful relationship,
You weren’t supposed to fix me, just make me feel a woman again.

In some sense you could not have me feel any more like a woman though,
I am sitting here, being in love,
like some kind of crazy teenager.
It is driving me nuts.

I don’t want to be like this,
I don’t want to be rejected,
that was exactly the point,
to get out of that sad and lonely feeling.

I am running from myself,
and I was counting on you.
I need you to keep me sane,
but yet you are the one making me lose it all.

Guitars

We were sitting on your couch
talking like we always would.
But somehow there were more pauses.
As if we knew what was coming, dude.

As we were surrounded by guitars,
I asked you to play me something,
little did I know,
that would make things turn into more than just a fling.

As soon as you grabbed the guitar,
held it in your arms so lovingly man,
your fingers automatically found their way,
and I fell in love with you, right there and then.

I was listening to the beautiful tune you played,
while shamelessly watching your gorgeous face,
For one second I forgot about all my issues,
That hadn’t happened in so many days.

Now I am struggling to the max,
as I need to forget about you.
Sometimes my heart still wanders off,
cause my mind can’t always come through.

This love should be stopped,
as it will make none of us better,
But the feelings are so strong,
my heart, sometimes I just let her.

I fantasize back to that evening,
just sitting there, knowing something was up,
but in my heart I know you don’t feel the same way,
so I do almost everything to make my heart stop.