Tag Archives: Heartbreak

Heartbreak

Loveletter

You have been quiet,

as you should.

Cause we discussed,

that we would.

But now the thought of you 

it’s lingering in my head.

What are you doing right now?

Are you just as upset?

I can’t send you a message,

Had to get rid of your number,

and for a while I was okay,

but now, once again, you slumber.

You are so far away,

but always right here,

like a bear hibernating,

unreachable, yet dangerously near.

I suppose this is it,

my loveletter to you.

In all those years, 

Our love is still true.

I want to wish you the best,

I know that the best for me too,

but somehow it never really feels that way,

As my mind is still stuck on you.

I wish my loveletter could contain that wish,

a happy life, a great love, everything,

but somehow I can’t write those words,

I think about it, Fly On Little Wing.

Feels like I am walking through the clouds,

my mind being total all over the place,

Not just sadness, happy things too,

And sometimes a picture of your face.

I should leave you alone,

Riding the wind, just me,

This is simply how my brain works,

And why it will never be free.

I am alright though,

I do not care whatever you take,

Whatever space you need inside of me,

But let me have it, for heavens sake.

Please let me have my loveletter,

a small space just for that purpose,

It is my own little blessing,

and yet my own little curse.

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Heartbreak

Undeserved

You came home, happy to see me.

I looked at you, not happy to be me.

Cause I knew what I had to do,

And I was about to lose you.

 

Even when I spoke the words out loud,

There was still a shadow of a doubt,

You did not deserve this treatment,

of being made redundant.

 

Together with the words, tears started to pour,

As this hurted us both, straight to the core.

You did not respond the way I expected,

You made sure my feelings weren’t neglected.

 

You started to comfort me,

probably not having to deal with yourself, I see.

As tears rolled down your chin,

I felt like washing myself from sin.

 

The relief I felt about tell you,

Was expected, but not fully true.

I felt the pain more than I’d imagined,

and you took it better than I had reckoned.

 

Now it is upto the hands of time,

To see if somewhow you are still mine,

Not just my own, but someone close, 

That is what I’d love the most.

 

I am not in any position to have any say,

I know that I fucked that up that day.

I just hope you will be a happy man,

with or without me holding your hand.

 

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Sexy stuff

Choke

Your hands are tied around my neck,

The air has no way to go.

I enjoy it, but yet I am scared,

Do I care if you go too far?

 

You apply a little more pressure, just a bit,

I feel like I am high,

But at the same time so done with it.

Is this everything I am to you?

 

Am I just a little plaything,

a person to experiment on,

a mind to put to the test,

or do you understand what I am coming from?

 

Do you know why I love your hands around my neck?

Why I like you being unpredictable, taking things too far?

Are you aware I am addicted to the feeling,

of you and me being in this war?

 

This constant battle of push and pull,

this chokehold that is cutting my heart in two,

bound to love those fingers around my throat,

while secretly desiring us to be through.

 

You are the best that has happened to me,

But the worst too,

You are the most dangerous thing I’ve ever encountered,

At at the same time you are perfect to me, you.

 

You are a dance with the devil,

but the feeling is so divine,

My feelings are kept in the dark,

but they shine through at the same time.

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Heartbreak

Cold and empty

You seem distracted,

Somethings definitely off,

I feel a tension arise within me,

the emptiness, the lack of love.

 

I can be pretty sensitive too, you know,

When it has started, it is done,

I noticed you stopped reaching,

and I can’t seem to overcome,

 

You mean way too much to me,
You have my heart in total control,

but on the other side there’s you,

your silence crushes my soul.

 

The warmth I feel for you,

it starts to fade away,

the cold is setting in,

I wish you’d just stay.

 

I haven’t even spoken to you,

but I know something is wrong,

I am counting the seconds until the end,

afraid of that moment you’ll be gone.

 

I am not sure if I can handle this,

this cold is just a little too familiar,

I can’t believe I am at this point again,

how could I’ve let things gone this far?

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Heartbreak

Nothing left of me

You built me up only to take me down

And when I thought I was at an all time low

You made things even worse.

I am left, just feeling like some clown.

Six years and all of a sudden things don’t feel as serious,

They don’t feel like they meant anything at all.

The way you are throwing it all away is so shocking,

And now I am just lonely, taking the fall.

You seem to have moved on ages ago,

But I don’t understand where you went.

I can only sit here and think about

All those I love you’s you never meant.

People always say breaking up is not easy to do,

But you don’t seem to mind.

You are being unfair about it though,

not really speaking things out, but I guess that’s just you.

All this time I was in the dark.

And now I sit here, writing poetry,

While you have moved on, I stood still,

Cause there is nothing left of me.

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Heartbreak

It’s not that

That fateful day when you broke my heart,
It was in a million pieces.
I tried to pick them up, and put them back again.
But I did not realize I was all alone.

And when I did, shit got hard.
I needed to get used to the loneliness,
as the loneliness I’d have felt before, was nothing like it.
And as low as I was, little did I know shit was only going to get worse.

Cause you did not try.
You did not lift a finger.
You did not dare to say the words,
and that has left my whole being in pieces.

Pieces that will probably never be picked up,
pieces that I will have to miss in my character forever.
Pieces that other people that want to be close to me, will curse me for, or even you.
Pieces that would have been fine, had you not walked away so limpy as you did.

I don’t know how to feel about it anymore.
I feel sorry for you, for being such a coward, incapable of breaking us up yourself.
At the same time you apparently still have feelings too, so I might need to feel sad for you, as you probably wanted a happily ever after too.
But sometimes I can only feel the rage, that is building up inside of me, a rage that does not fit my personality, cause it is simply too big, too deep, and too much all together.
But most of all, it is too true. It is legit, and it should stay inside.

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Heartbreak

Anger

It started off as a warm spot within my heart.
A soft spot for you,
cause even though I knew you weren’t entirely my type,
I thought I’d found a love that was true.

The warm spot became a flame when you answered,
when we fell in love madly,
We could only see eachother,
Damn, we were so happy,

The flame was not there long enough.
every day it lost a bit of its spark,
until the beautiful light that once was,
was gone and everything turned dark.

We were still together,
but I never felt so alone,
All this time you acted like nothing could be better,
But apparently your love was already gone.

You should have said something earlier,
so we could find the spark again.
You should have done your best,
Cause I was still your woman.

Instead, you decided that keeping me in the dark was safe,
Until it wasn’t.
Your lies sparked a flame so big,
That had you known about it, you would be stunned.

But you don’t know about this huge fire that is inside of me.
A heat that has burnt my heart to nothingness,
Our fire that was a beautiful flame,
has now become an uncontrollable sea of hate, no less.

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Heartbreak

Grenades forever

My thoughts are like grenades,
I want to throw them at you,
But I’m not sure as sometimes that feeling fades,
And then I never do.

There will be a massive explosion,
one day in the distant future,
I hope that day I will truly be done,
with feeling like a loser.

I offered you my forever
But you did not take it.
It’s not like you said: never,
You just knew we wouldn’t make it.

See what you did there love?
You created your own selffullfilling prophecy
I usually don’t believe in that stuff,
But your bahaviour has a hold on me.

On us, to be more precize,
Cause due to your silly words,
Somehow this relationship doesn’t suffice,
and we ended up so much worse.

How do we put an end to this?
You are just going to wait it out,
While I feed you so much love with every kiss,
that you return with so much doubt.

 

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Heartbreak

No chance

You are going to bring me down,
Even though you have no idea.
But yet I keep reaching for you,
as if I really want you to hurt me.

It is complicated to deal with this,
as love is madness,
Is this love in the first place,
or chemistry, lust or other craziness?

I know I should not want you,
in any possible way,
but yet I fall into your arms,
hearing you whisper I should stay.

I can’t decide if it’s a game,
or who is actually playing,
Are you thinking about me at all?
There so many things we are not saying

It is hard to look at the future,
when Cupid forces you to,
especially as my brain knows better,
And possibly, so do you.

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Heartbreak

Drunken Monkey

That night we had a phonecall for four hours straight,
We talked, we laughed, we flirted,
it was a Saturdaynight, and though I was sober,
you definitely weren’t.

If you’d be sober too, I know we would not talk like this,
you would be silent,
you would not dare to say anything much,
are you not comfortable or not interested?

I caught myself looking it up on google,
why does he only reach out to me when he’s drunk?
Are you afraid of me when you are sober,
or are you simply just not that into me?

I don’t know what to do about this shit,
I was supposed to just have you make me feel good,
Good about myself again, after a hurtful relationship,
You weren’t supposed to fix me, just make me feel a woman again.

In some sense you could not have me feel any more like a woman though,
I am sitting here, being in love,
like some kind of crazy teenager.
It is driving me nuts.

I don’t want to be like this,
I don’t want to be rejected,
that was exactly the point,
to get out of that sad and lonely feeling.

I am running from myself,
and I was counting on you.
I need you to keep me sane,
but yet you are the one making me lose it all.

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