Passion

Sitting here on this couch,
way too big for just me.
Thinking about that night,
and how it all could be.

My thoughts are not with the movie I’m watching,
I can’t keep them from going places they shouldn’t,
Cause being in love is not okay,
You were just a friend.

It is so nice to think about it though,
As you are the person I truly miss,
When I close my eyes my mind goes over,
that special connection, that amazing kiss.

I long for your lips on mine,
But I’m afraid that might not happen again,
I want to run my fingers through your hair,
and playfully bite your lip, man.

Push me up against you,
take my head in your capable hands,
cause these feelings aren’t going away,
as we should be so much more than just friends.

Let go

If you love something,
let it go,
and if it comes back to you,
keep it.

It’s something people always say,
and quote, being all smart,
but the fact of the matter is,
that is simply not how it works when it comes to the heart.

If you truly love,
the thought of letting go is true horror,
plus, why would you go through the moarning,
what is that supposed to be used for?

If you truly love something,
do anything you want.
Don’t tempt yourself into playing games,
or to test someone, it’s not true.

Just love, and love as hard as you can,

Especially if the feeling is so strong, man.

Stop

Cupid please stop fucking with my head
pouring thoughts in it that drive me mad.
you shouldn’t want something that’s already dead.
you making me feel this way only makes me sad.

love is supposed to be beautiful man,
it is more than just: oh that body, oh damn.
I am doing anything I can,
to stop this crazy love, cause I’m not a fan.

you make me do things I really shouldn’t
you make me feel things I normally wouldn’t
and it’s just waiting for this guy to say he couldn’t
for my heart to be ruined.

I don’t want it

I have been laying on my couch,
fantasizing about a life that is impossible.
I have been laying in my bed,
looking at your pictures, butterflies galore.

What is this, this being in love?
Is it just a happy time to dream,
Cause I feel a different side to it too.
I feel rejection, wanting more from you.

I am not entitled to anything,
And I know love is not about possession,
I do not need to meet your parents,
but I simply want to be closer to you.

I can be ultimately close to your body,
but it is your mind that I want too.
Do I occupy your mind, like you do mine?
Are you as uncomfortable like me?

Maybe I do not want an answer to these questions,
this is probably for the better.
We are just friends, having fun,
I just don’t want this to be over.

The Hole

It seemed so far away,
That dark place.
I knew it was there,
As I tiptood around it before.

I tried to be careful,
But the heart wants what it wants,
And god knows, I definitely do.
Even knowing that I should be into you.

For a while I kinda forgot about that dark place,
That pit in the ground I might sink in,
It seemed a bit further away for a while.
I still knew it was there, but I did not think about it as much.

Until bang I was reminded,
With just one look into your eyes,
One time standing too close,
As your breath touched my face.

As your breath touched my face,
You entered my heart.
My heart that needed rest,
That needed time to heal.

But nope, my heart was back in business,
Making sure I’d think about you all the time,
When I woke up, when I ate lunch, when I went to bed,
Being obsessed by you, even though my mind knew better.

My mind always knows better, but my heart is not okay.
And when my heart is not okay, it won’t let me take the lead.
It will race towards that god forsaken dark place in a matter of minutes,
And make me fall into that hole, that hole that had been there waiting.

It had been waiting for me to cross the line,
It had been waiting for all this time.
It wanted to devour me, swallow me whole,
And I blame you.

Even though you have never promised me anything,
It was you that made me go tot hat point of no return,
Then I realised though, that was not fair,
Not that it was a hole that was just there.

Someone had put it there, but I hadn’t realised that wasn’t you.
It was me who set it all up.
It was me taking the shovel, starting to dig.
It had always been me, trying to trap myself, and it will always be.

 

Love is a strange beast

I am still not sure about it,
being in love with someone,
does that mean I love them?
What does loving someone mean anyway?

I only know that I want you close to me,
I might not even want a relationship,
Just want us to be together, to hang out,
Why does it feel wrong to be wanting that?

It is you, being so distant,
Trying to keep me away from the real person inside,
Is that your fear of commitment speaking,
Or is my borderline the reason for you to hide?

I would be fine with any of the things mentioned,
as long as the reason is not love,
I really want this loving feeling to last forever,
But I am so afraid our love is already damned.

I really try to keep quiet,
and not show to many feelings towards you,
But inside I am so freaking afraid,
That somethings I just can’t not do.

Bad

I admire you,
Ever since I first saw you.
I am nuts about you,
Even though you haven’t always been true.

I keep falling in love with people,
that eventually hurt me.
My mind knows better,
but it can’t keep my heart from longing.

Why do I feel so bad?
Is it wrong to be in love?
Am I out of line for appreciating you?
There is nothing I won’t do.

I really want to be around you,
And even if that is just as friends,
Or as friends that are doing it,
That is okay for now,

But don’t shut me out,
Don’t just neglect me for days,
expecting the same lovely treatment,
that I would have given you on a daily basis.

It is insane how my feelings,
that are so true,
feel so illegal somehow.
And I blame you.

If it is illegal to love you,
even though I have been so decent all these years,
It should be just as illegal,
to neglect me and ignite my fears.

Is it wrong?

When I close my eyes,
My eyes still see,
They show me you,
And your gorgeousness kills me.

When I finally shut up,
Inside, it is my heart that speaks up,
Making me feel so weak,
Cause deep down I know what’s up.

Is it wrong though, to be in love with this man?
It has been so long though, being in love with this friend.
When the palms of my hands are facing upwards,
I feel your fingers slide nextto mine.

I miss it so much, walking in the streets hand in hand,
Boy, as a couple we looked so damn fine.
Why can’t I have what I really really want?
I know I am weak, but is it bad to love a guy?

Is it wrong to want to give him my all?
Or am I just living in a big lie?

Push factor

What’s up, I said,
I’ll do it alone, you said
But to you that must have been different,
than what it like sounded in my head.

I want to be there for you,
As a lover, as a friend,
but yet you won’t let me,
and that’s just got me bend.

I am knocking on your door,
Until my knuckles bleed.
But yet you won’t let me in,
Am I not what you need?

You want to stay lonely,
While I am ready to give you my all,
You keep on being that push factor
Are you so afraid to let go of the control?

No matter how much love I want to give,
You have to be open to receive,
I can’t keep standing in front of a door closed,
cause that is against what I believe.

Love should be a two way thing,
Not just sharing a house together,
You will have to open up yourself,
Even if that does not seem for the better.

It feels lonely and stupid to be standing here.
I guess you are not ready to give me your all,
But I am not ready to give up yet,
Cause I already took that fall.

You do

You are amazing.
you are gorgeous.
you are everything,
but mine.

you make me smile.
you make me blush.
you make me happy,
and cry.

your kisses are awesome,
your kisses are hot,
your kisses are addictive,
but they’re gone.

you and I could have,
you and I would have,
you and I should have,
but you and I won’t.