Struggle

You chose you

I chose me, I’m sorry.

The words of Kendrick Lamar,

I don’t really hear them,

Cause my thoughts are a far.

Kendricks words are echoing in my brain,

But I can only think

You chose you, I’m sorry.

As I gaze at you, feeling your pain.

I am sorry that you chose you,

As it means that you chose no one else

When there is only room for you,

We can’t do much else.

I can only stand on the sideline,

Watching it all unfold,

Not asking how you are doing,

As so I have been told.

It’s hard to accept the destruction,

It’s not just hard to watch,

How do people cope with this,

When they love her so much.

You stand there, made up your mind,

My thoughts twisted and turned,

No matter what I do,

Either way I’ll get burned.

I just want to help you, make things easier,

But I can’t ask you how you feel,

So I just stand here in a corner,

I can’t ask you how to deal.

There is no solution to this,

The only way is to let you be,

Give you some space,

And hope soon you’ll feel free.

Free enough to let people in,

Not because they’d feel better,

Not to take the pain away,

But to just sit there next to you,

And show you you are loved.

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Struggle, Therapy

Lestat

Let me in
cause here I stand
in front of your door
that I never saw before

I am asking
may I enter
I won’t take over your empire,
I am just a vampire.

Thirsty, so thirsty,
I need a fix,
Something to make me feel,
Just a little kiss to steal.

I won’t be long,
Don’t need much time,
Just give me a little peek,
Is all I ask, tongue in cheek.

You want me there,
I know you do,
You enjoy every minute,
of me feeling stupid.

So you keep me out,
thinking that’s for me,
Let’s be real now, hon,
We aren’t done.

I long for it,
Filling the void
Quenching my thirst
Getting there first.

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Heartbreak

Not reliable

“Finally”, you sighed,

“everything is back to normal again”,

It had indeed been hectic,

But that is basically my life, my friend.

 

You wanted something to hold on to tightly,

Something to trust,

But I was checking out quietly.

Realizing what was my curse.

 

I can’t be stable, it’s just not me,

When I get stuck,

when I feel stuck,

All I want is to be free.

 

I am not treating you right by wanting this,

I know I am not, I know,

But this big old hole, it’s still in my heart,

cause there’s something I miss.

 

Something that will make me incomplete,

something that should have been there,

Maybe it’s unmendable,

Maybe it makes me obsolete.

 

It is hard to make this so much about my feelings,

Cause it will affect you,

Just like it will affect anyone around me,

And how to handle it, I have no clue.

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