Healing

Again, this is my older stuff, I was 17 years old when I wrote it, and for once it is not about boyfriends/girlfriends:
Thinking about it all day
Shall I tell them, would they care?
It doesn’t matter what I say,
Cause they’ll never be fair.

It always is a 2 tot 1 situation,
I´m always alone.
Now I’m facing it.
Is this my home?

I can speak my mind,
I can’t be who I am.
My aprents are just staring blind,
They think they know who I am.

Well, now I took the step.
I told them about my plan.
But they did not want to listen,
They think I don’t need a healing man.

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Young girl

It’s funny the subject of this poem is a young girl, as I literally wrote this one when I was way younger: 16 years old to be precise:

I’m a youn girl with a life to live,
But I am not too young to know what I feel.
I’ve got so much to give.
And I know my feelings are real.

When I say you are handsome,
Or when I say that I care,
Don’t ask me where that came from,
Just see that it’s there.

I’m a young girl who is a little insecure,
So I can be depressed at a time,
But of love, you can’t ever be sure,
What I feel in this heart of mine.

You can even imagine, never,
Trust me, I know my little heart.
Though I might not be very clever,
You will always own a part.

Cause I am a young girl who might fall,
But my love, you have it all.

Offboarding

You checked out.

Before the plane had even landed.

We did not even fly that high,

But you got scared and wanted to offboard.

Didn’t you know this was against the rules?

There is a reason no one is offered a parachute in an airplane.

You do not just jump out,

when you go down, you go down together.

And when you fly high, you fly high together.

But I guess we never really did, did we?

Cinema

I just want to sit next to you in the dark cinema, offer you candy cause you are so sweet, and so you will move your head close to mine again and again, making my heart beat faster and faster.

Coward

All this time I have been alone.
And yet you doubt if you want to break up with me,
because you are afraid you might be lonely.
Like you were before you met me.

I can guarantee you will be,
Just like I was, all those years when I was with you.
Now I am done, and I am happy,
Cause now I am going to do me.

No matter how solo my dinners will be
No matter how many times I will visit the cinema alone,
I will never be lonely ever again,
Cause I have always taken care of people, the way you never could.

And I will always take care of myself, the way you never would.
Like any wonderful woman on this planet, I deserve the best,
So good luck with the rest of your life,
I am sure this turn of events you would have never guessed.

You are always way too busy with your own shit,
You did not even know that you were falling out of love,
But you know, the saddest bit,
is that you don’t realize what you are losing until it’s long gone.

And now you do not say a word.
You drop a bomb, but yet you are unwilling to take care of the victims,
Unwilling, unable perhaps?
Cowardly you await, until I make the final cut.

Bloody Mary

You always thought the cuts weren’t so deep,

But the physical scars are just the top,

There is a whole mountain of pain and suffering beneath,

But here’s where I ask you to stop.

You can’t help me, even if you would try,

Not that you will, but I just don’t want you to feel bad about it.

This is me, this is all I have ever been,

It is a sad story, but you don’t see me cry.

Nothing left of me

You built me up only to take me down

And when I thought I was at an all time low

You made things even worse.

I am left, just feeling like some clown.

Six years and all of a sudden things don’t feel as serious,

They don’t feel like they meant anything at all.

The way you are throwing it all away is so shocking,

And now I am just lonely, taking the fall.

You seem to have moved on ages ago,

But I don’t understand where you went.

I can only sit here and think about

All those I love you’s you never meant.

People always say breaking up is not easy to do,

But you don’t seem to mind.

You are being unfair about it though,

not really speaking things out, but I guess that’s just you.

All this time I was in the dark.

And now I sit here, writing poetry,

While you have moved on, I stood still,

Cause there is nothing left of me.

It’s not that

That fateful day when you broke my heart,
It was in a million pieces.
I tried to pick them up, and put them back again.
But I did not realize I was all alone.

And when I did, shit got hard.
I needed to get used to the loneliness,
as the loneliness I’d have felt before, was nothing like it.
And as low as I was, little did I know shit was only going to get worse.

Cause you did not try.
You did not lift a finger.
You did not dare to say the words,
and that has left my whole being in pieces.

Pieces that will probably never be picked up,
pieces that I will have to miss in my character forever.
Pieces that other people that want to be close to me, will curse me for, or even you.
Pieces that would have been fine, had you not walked away so limpy as you did.

I don’t know how to feel about it anymore.
I feel sorry for you, for being such a coward, incapable of breaking us up yourself.
At the same time you apparently still have feelings too, so I might need to feel sad for you, as you probably wanted a happily ever after too.
But sometimes I can only feel the rage, that is building up inside of me, a rage that does not fit my personality, cause it is simply too big, too deep, and too much all together.
But most of all, it is too true. It is legit, and it should stay inside.

Anger

It started off as a warm spot within my heart.
A soft spot for you,
cause even though I knew you weren’t entirely my type,
I thought I’d found a love that was true.

The warm spot became a flame when you answered,
when we fell in love madly,
We could only see eachother,
Damn, we were so happy,

The flame was not there long enough.
every day it lost a bit of its spark,
until the beautiful light that once was,
was gone and everything turned dark.

We were still together,
but I never felt so alone,
All this time you acted like nothing could be better,
But apparently your love was already gone.

You should have said something earlier,
so we could find the spark again.
You should have done your best,
Cause I was still your woman.

Instead, you decided that keeping me in the dark was safe,
Until it wasn’t.
Your lies sparked a flame so big,
That had you known about it, you would be stunned.

But you don’t know about this huge fire that is inside of me.
A heat that has burnt my heart to nothingness,
Our fire that was a beautiful flame,
has now become an uncontrollable sea of hate, no less.