They don’t understand

You are in my head,

like a Disney-song, stuck.

I tried so hard to get you out,

but I guess it wasn’t my luck.

 

They don’t understand my sorrow,

they have not lived it,

they don’t know the pain it causes,

how my soul is forever encrypted.

 

I still try to wrap my brain around it,

Even my friends do not understand.

but they look at me, trying to help,

it’s nice but it doesn’t work, dear friend.

 

They don’t understand my sorrow,

they have not felt the pain inside,

no insecurity about making the choice,

no salty tears like the ones I cried.

 

I look at you, knowing I should not,

It is as if looking at an open heart surgery,

You don’t want to look but it’s so fascinating,

loving you while knowing it will never be.

 

They don’t understand my sorrow,

they have not gone through it all,

no tears, no stress, no sleepless nights,

no feeling high before the fall.

Healing

Again, this is my older stuff, I was 17 years old when I wrote it, and for once it is not about boyfriends/girlfriends:
Thinking about it all day
Shall I tell them, would they care?
It doesn’t matter what I say,
Cause they’ll never be fair.

It always is a 2 tot 1 situation,
I´m always alone.
Now I’m facing it.
Is this my home?

I can speak my mind,
I can’t be who I am.
My aprents are just staring blind,
They think they know who I am.

Well, now I took the step.
I told them about my plan.
But they did not want to listen,
They think I don’t need a healing man.

Young girl

It’s funny the subject of this poem is a young girl, as I literally wrote this one when I was way younger: 16 years old to be precise:

I’m a youn girl with a life to live,
But I am not too young to know what I feel.
I’ve got so much to give.
And I know my feelings are real.

When I say you are handsome,
Or when I say that I care,
Don’t ask me where that came from,
Just see that it’s there.

I’m a young girl who is a little insecure,
So I can be depressed at a time,
But of love, you can’t ever be sure,
What I feel in this heart of mine.

You can even imagine, never,
Trust me, I know my little heart.
Though I might not be very clever,
You will always own a part.

Cause I am a young girl who might fall,
But my love, you have it all.

Silenced

I can smell your fear from miles away,

I always thought I’d be immune,

But lately it seems to have evolved,

we are simply not in tune.

 

I used to be able to let it go,

but I now I don’t see how.

Your fear has silenced even me,

what to do with my strong feelings now?

 

I want to be the wonderful person,

I know I am when I’m head over heels,

but there’s is something holding me back,

even though I definitely feel all the feels.

 

I feel bad for not being who I truly am,

A warm, caring, gentle and loving human being,

but I can’t cause I need to protect myself too,

though I want to with every fiber in my being.

 

Sometimes I just want to scream out to you,

frustrated cause you do not seem to care,

disappointed cause you let fear rule you,

and stand in the way of this love, how unfair.

Sunny side

It seems so attractive to you,
Freedom, living life to the fullest,
Not caged in a perfect family picture,
Sounds good but let’s be honest.

You look into my life
from the sunny side.
So you don’t see the shadows,
the many lonely nights.

Do you realize handsome,
how you come home to your wife,
I come home to nothing at all,
An empty house, but a full life.

You look into my life,
from the sunny side.
You don’t see the dark stuff,
that never sees the light.

I know you want a piece of it.
Not sure if this is about me,
or perhaps just that sense of freedom,
this other person you want to be.

You look into my life,
from the sunny side.
You only see my smiles,
But not the tears I cried last night.

Who subscribes drugs to the doctor?

Who saves the fireman?

Who cuts the hair if the hairdresser?

Who massages the masseuse?

Who will shoot Cupid?

Who will love the lover?

You are not alone

The moon shines proudly in the dark night,
I look at my phone, a text from that man.
Soon he will set aside his pride,
For my attention he does all he can.

I have the power to make him crawl,
But I will not do it, I refuse.
Cause I try to actually have a soul.
creating a world where I’m not his muse.

He might sit there on the couch,
comfortably enjoying my company,
sending me pictures of his south,
But something’s wrong in this pic, see?

Just a few metres away she is asleep,
carrying his second child,
Not knowing about my existence,
or the fact that often I am on his mind.

Who you are

Oh I had my eye on you,
right from the start.
My head kept me away from you,
because it knew what was going on my heart.

Right there and then,
I like you for who you are,
My lover, my friend, my man.

You don’t make things easy though,
Cause your fear of commitment,
almost made me let you go,
and still it’s hard to pretend.

But still now that we are together,
I know you for who you are,
Through sunshine and stormy weather.

You can’t love me for who I am,
You wonder if you can ever love anyone,
Still I am more than just a friend,
And we are not yet done.

One day you will say goodbye,
But I love you the way you are,
Not just now, but then and till the day I die.

Two sides

She was a happy girl.
A heart full of love and friends,
A head filled with many plans.
Ready to rule the world .

Now she is just a shadow.
Sitting in dark alone.
Insides are just made of stone.
Not looking forward to tomorrow.

Tomorrow she might be fun again,
but everyone will ask where she was.
They might already know the cause,
But one thing they will never understand.

That girl being so enthusiastic,
she does often feel bliss in her heart,
but she is also the other part,
that everyone finds less fantastic.

Especially cause eventually they will always know.
the deep dark days in this girls mind,
the constant love she is trying to find.
Her scars, they will always show.

All applicable

There, you said it.
The words are out.
I feel like shit.
Filled with doubt.

You are unable.
to love someone like me,
I feel unstable,
There’s so much more we could be.

It’s that time,
when all love songs apply.
I break down and cry,
Why can’t you love me, why?

No matter what I listen to,
Everything sounds familiair,
Both the happy feeling of loving you,
And the heartbreak, the dispair.

You sit next to me, quietly,
You wait for me to ease your pain,
Yet you do not set me free,
It is slowly driving me insane.

Often love takes over,
Especially when we get closer,

Sometimes I get sober,
But still I don’t want us to be over.