Struggle

Remember

Not having expectations

It’s a blessing, but a curse

Nothing to be build up

Nothing to be torn down

 

Not having expectations

It’s easy to do

When you can’t remember

The history of us two

 

It’s a trap, and there I go again

Forgetting what I shouldve learned

Leaving that complicated stone

Safely unturned.

 

Its dumb, that’s what it is

It feels like freedom

No history, no judgement

No expectations, no let-downs

 

But the biggest let-down will always be me

Letting others down, letting myself down

For simply failing to remember

Like I don’t care, like I don’t learn

 

I wish I remembered all those times

You looked at me, with admiration

I wish I somehow felt it

And could feel it again

 

I wish I remembered the feeling

Of you caressing my hand

And the love you must have sent

So my cold body could be warmed

 

Most of all I wish I remembered

The words you said to me

Understanding what you meant by them

Cause now they are all gone.

 

Somehow I can’t get them back

They are lost forever.

I refuse to be just as lost.

Cause I want to be better.

 

So for now I’ll try to learn each day

While focussing on not letting things get away

Even though my brain enjoys shutting down

I will no longer wear this as an almighty crown.

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Heartbreak

Knowing you

You came into my life,

I was starstruck, wow,

I knew I had to know you,

but I am not so sure now.

 

Knowing you hurts.

My life was good,

when I did not know,

You existed, boo.

 

Now my life consists,

out of longing for a special connection,

like we had, and still have,

that I even see in my reflection.

 

Cause I see that you have touched me,

My look has changed tremendously,

Like a mother when she had her first child,

filled with love but no longer free.

 

Knowing you hurts,

Cause everyone else is not,

No one can be you,

you stuck around in my thoughts.

 

Your face is printed in my brain,

The magic that we were together,

And I do try and look,

But I will find nothing better.

 

Knowing you hurts,

cause you are out there,

and even if you weren’t,

I’d know you are somewhere.

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Heartbreak

Locked up

I am doing the time,
but it does not make sense,
I am doing the time,
cause we are more than friends.

I am an inmate of love,
cause I can’t share it with you,
I am an inmate of love,
cause I can’t get through.

I am kept inside a cage,
cause of my being in love state,
I am kept inside a cage,
solely because you are afraid.

I’m wearing striped pyjamas,
cause I let you put me down.
I’m wearing striped pyjamas,
You make me feel like a clown.

I am locked up,
Even though I have so much to offer,
I am locked up,
Just for being your lover.

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