If this is the lost and found,
I am defenitly lost,
because I found you,
I am so star crossed
Movies make me sad these days,
because you won’t look at me,
the way those people do,
would you rather stay free?
I text you a heart every single day,
you always text one in return,
do you realise I give you my heart,
or is that something you need to learn?
I open up to people easily,
No issues with being closed.
And I have loved before,
But this time I overdosed.
See, my mind might be tough,
But my heart is a fragile thing.
I never allowed anyone to break it but you,
And now I can’t feel anything.
I knew you’d take me and break me
But I wouldn’t go down without a fight.
Right when I first laid eyes on you,
Heartbreak at first sight.
Why did I let you do this to me.
I never let anyone come this close before.
The question keeps going through my mind,
as I lay crying on the bathroom floor.
I’m right at that spot where we made love,
we would be so into one another,
we would forget about time,
And I didn’t even bother.
I did not just fall in love with your mind.
I miss your beautiful body so much,
It’s tough to picture it,
Not sure if I can live without your touch.
I let another man steal a kiss,
one that was meant for you, only,
I was only thinking of you,
feeling numb and lonely.
I used to be in control,
But you have awakened this other me,
A soul that does not want to get over you,
A soul that will never truly be free.
It is funny how it only takes one letter,
to make a hole whole again.
While in reality it takes a lifetime.
and many many wrong men.
She wanted to be loved,
she was longing for the big L O V E,
so many mistakes were made,
time and time she failed to see.
A huge krater was in her heart,
a black pit of nothingness,
it would never go away,
with no kiss, no caress.
as she grew older, nothing changed.
she is still longing for that special thing.
but she did not realise,
real love comes from within.
You are gone now.
Still some beer for you
in the fridge,
doesn’t matter now.
You choose to walk away.
My wet eyes watched you leave,
but I knew it wouldn’t matter,
cause I love you anyway.
You think I will forget about this,
This love, this thing between
us two.
But you don’t know what love is.
See, I will forever have feelings for you,
no matter if I find someone new,
no matter the time or the distance,
between us two.
So now I am alone.
But when you check my Instagram,
realize that this girl,
made you her number one.
Not just now that I am without you,
But whenever, whereever,
Whomever I will be with,
I will never not love you, boo
I hope soon you will understand
and really feel it in your heart,
that my door will forever be open,
cause by you I will always stand.
The grass in my garden is wet,
It is summer but yet it’s raining outside,
The water is here to nourish all plants.
It should be low but yet it’s high tide.
Do the tears in my eyes make everything a blur,
It must be the rain on the window,
I am trying hard to stay positive here,
But never ever did I feel so low.
I feel like the water is calling for me.
I step outside, to feel the rain on my skin,
Hoping it will wash away my tears,
And really just to feel anything.
My hot wet face mixes well
with the cold hard raindrops
It is so unfortunate that that is
where the cleansing stops.
I wish the water could clean my soul,
I wish the water would go through my brain,
My heart needs some tidying up too,
Anything just to get rid of this pain.
You want my love,
and yet you don’t.
You want to talk to me,
but you won’t.
Or do you prefer silence?
Like you silence my feelings,
The love I hold for you is great,
and flattering to most human beings.
Somehow that does not count,
when it comes to you dear,
cause when it comes to you,
the ruler, the king, the god is fear.
That is so sad you see?
I have wonderful things to give,
And with all those fuzzy warm feelings inside,
I am not sure how to live.
If I can’t share them with you,
If I need to keep them in a cage,
Not sure if I can truly be myself.
But I am not ready to turn the page.
I feel so stupid for adoring you so much,
For having this useless love inside,
The best thing I can’t give to you,
Even now that I am officially by your side.
You were late but that’s okay,
As soon as you walked upon stage,
the world faded away.
I started crying when you sang Solo,
Couldn’t believe we were in this moment,
I felt my love for you grow.
The way you carried yourself,
that vibe around you,
made me shine like I never do.
It was magical to finally see that man,
that man that I listen to every day,
Don’t worry, I am not some Stan.
We were in this moment together,
I think our eyes even met,
after feeling low I’ve felt so much better.
There is something magical about you,
I have such a deep appreciation for that,
how you sing these words, so true.
When I think back about that eve,
I feel such bliss inside,
even though our moment was just brief.
Your music means so much to the world,
you touch peoples hearts,
thank you from the heart of a very happy girl.
I am doing the time,
but it does not make sense,
I am doing the time,
cause we are more than friends.
I am an inmate of love,
cause I can’t share it with you,
I am an inmate of love,
cause I can’t get through.
I am kept inside a cage,
cause of my being in love state,
I am kept inside a cage,
solely because you are afraid.
I’m wearing striped pyjamas,
cause I let you put me down.
I’m wearing striped pyjamas,
You make me feel like a clown.
I am locked up,
Even though I have so much to offer,
I am locked up,
Just for being your lover.
Again, some older work, from when I was 17 years old, a happy one for once, kinda 😉
Laughing and smiling the whole time,
Happiness has come into my heart again.
Now I can truly say I feel fine,
What’s left to worry about?
Now that lovely feeling’s back,
I can’t think of anything bad,
and I don’t want to try it too,
It’s so good, not to feel sad,
My heart is filled with flowers,
Springtime has come early this year,
I could dream bout it all for hours,
Feels like there’s nothing left to fear.
Oh, wonderful world,
Oh, wonderful life,
I’m floating around in heaven,
It’s only for a second may be.
But I will keep on laughing,
The sweet side of life I see.
Why I am so stupid, loving a person that does not want my love.
Why am I addicted to pain so much, that I would even take it to the level of sorrow?
The physical pain I know, that is just cutting, letting go,
but the type of pain within the soul, it’s unbearable.
When I think about him, I am not sure if it is the love or the pain that takes my breath away.
Knowing he will never feel the same way about me,
Knowing I will always long for his love, which I am never to receive.
Knowing what I have always known: the real me is not worthy.
How silly of me to fall in love with the guy that does not want to be loved,
a guy that turns my eternal, everlasting love away, the good stuff.
A man so easy to hate, and yet so easy to love.
I can’t help myself but being totally invested in him.
It kills me, slowly, but surely.
The love for him builds me up, only to be taken down again.
I keep waiting for that big romantic gesture
I keep thinking I can be the woman that will change his life forever.
But I won’t be, cause he won’t let me.
I will just be another woman who wanted to save him,
another woman that did not succeed,
and somehow only left him more miserable inside.
it devastates me, it destroys me,
loving him is the hardest thing I did,
and yet I can’t imagine it being different.
I am longing for air, knowing I can’t breathe.
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