Tag Archives: poem

Heartbreak

Secret identity

You are waiting for me,
as I am on my way to you.
Looking forward to seeing each other,
but deep down I feel blue.

I am close to your doorstep now.
Every time I am about to hold you again,
I realize that this is not forever.
I remember myself to enjoy it while I still can.

You open the door and as I see your face,
I can’t help but smile, ear to ear.
You press me against you, lovingly,
and away goes my fear.

Our moments together are everything,
But after I feel so low.
The greatest thing I have for you,
Is living in the shadow.

The feelings of love set in,
But I can’t show you that part of me,
The cool girl is who I am on the outside.
And inside, my secret identity

 

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Happiness

Consciously insane

I do not always lay on my bed crying.
Really I don’t.
I do not always smile while dying inside.
Really I don’t.

On good days you will see me strut.
walking confidently through the streets.
Or doing household tasks happily
with a big smile on my face.

It is conscious insanity,
all triggered by your existence.
it is knowingly being crazy,
all triggered by your resistance.

Sweet and sour,
Cold and hot.
Sit and stand.
Winter and summer.

You are all these things wrapped into one.
making me feel on top of the world or totally done.
you make me insane and that is okay,
you make me insane and that is okay.

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Heartbreak

Tell me

You tell your friends
I am your girlfriend
but you forgot to tell me.

I tell my friends
that I love you
and yet I do not tell you.

There is always this odd space
between the two of us.
It’s full of question marks.
I am not sure if it bothers you,
you are not sure if it bothers me,
it is just there.

is it making our love stronger?
or is it keeping us from going deeper?
is this even love?

Tell me man,
cause I’ve been waiting
as patiently as I can be.

tell me man,
cause you make me
so much better than I could ever be.

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Heartbreak

A thousand suns

Sitting on a bus together.
You are falling asleep,
but before you do,
you look at me.

As our eyes meet
you start to smile, twinkling eyes
you do something to me
a little paradise.

it’s like you put a thousand suns
deep inside of me, boo
and as they shine,
their rays shine right back at you.

you seem to be wearing sunglasses though.
hopelessly unfortunate,
I have so much to give.
But you will never know any of it.

yet I sit next to you on the bus
feeling the warmth inside
wishing my love would fade away
and yet wishing you’d hold me tight.

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Happiness

I noticed

We are a war zone of mixed signals.
One moment you make my heart cold.
With your Tinder swipin’ egotistical behaviour,
Do you think I don’t know you can’t be that bold?

And then there are the times that you don’t hurt me.
Instead, you make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
It is when you take off your glove to hold my hand,
Or buy the magazine for which I write.

We are a war zone of mixed signals.
I can talk about them with my friends forever,
I keep on fantasising what we could be.
Even though I know that is not clever.

The thing is: you do something to me.
Even though we fire our weapons good and bad,
my heart always picks the positive things,
and wants to forget those that make me sad.

In our war zone of mixed signals that is a stupid thing to do,
My little old heart is taking risks, man
But it is not a wrong thing to do,
cause I am open to loving you in any way I can.

And while I am at it,
I will keep on noticing the little things you do,
Like holding a door, calling me your girlfriend to your friends,
and all those other things that make me love you.

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Heartbreak

Hole

It is funny how it only takes one letter,
to make a hole whole again.
While in reality it takes a lifetime.
and many many wrong men.

She wanted to be loved,
she was longing for the big L O V E,
so many mistakes were made,
time and time she failed to see.

A huge krater was in her heart,
a black pit of nothingness,
it would never go away,
with no kiss, no caress.

as she grew older, nothing changed.
she is still longing for that special thing.
but she did not realise,
real love comes from within.

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Heartbreak

The rain

The grass in my garden is wet,
It is summer but yet it’s raining outside,
The water is here to nourish all plants.
It should be low but yet it’s high tide.

Do the tears in my eyes make everything a blur,
It must be the rain on the window,
I am trying hard to stay positive here,
But never ever did I feel so low.

I feel like the water is calling for me.
I step outside, to feel the rain on my skin,
Hoping it will wash away my tears,
And really just to feel anything.

My hot wet face mixes well
with the cold hard raindrops
It is so unfortunate that that is
where the cleansing stops.

I wish the water could clean my soul,
I wish the water would go through my brain,
My heart needs some tidying up too,
Anything just to get rid of this pain.

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Heartbreak

I can’t

You just sat there, silent.
Made me do all the digging,
painful digging into your thoughts,
And so I had to begin.

You made me into someone I’m not,
this insecure, fragile shadow of a woman,
having to ask questions that lead to this,
You saying that you’re done.

Funny how you didn’t even say it,
You made me say the words,
So you just had to sit there and mumble,
which made this all so much worse.

Cause love, I sat there with an open heart,
ready to give it to you,
And now you pierce right through it,
saying this love can’t be true.

I sat there with so much love to give,
I would have done anything, fuck pride,
just for these words to go away,
And not feel so damn empty inside.

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Heartbreak

Useless love

You want my love,
and yet you don’t.
You want to talk to me,
but you won’t.

Or do you prefer silence?
Like you silence my feelings,
The love I hold for you is great,
and flattering to most human beings.

Somehow that does not count,
when it comes to you dear,
cause when it comes to you,
the ruler, the king, the god is fear.

That is so sad you see?
I have wonderful things to give,
And with all those fuzzy warm feelings inside,
I am not sure how to live.

If I can’t share them with you,
If I need to keep them in a cage,
Not sure if I can truly be myself.
But I am not ready to turn the page.

I feel so stupid for adoring you so much,
For having this useless love inside,
The best thing I can’t give to you,
Even now that I am officially by your side.

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Heartbreak

Locked up

I am doing the time,
but it does not make sense,
I am doing the time,
cause we are more than friends.

I am an inmate of love,
cause I can’t share it with you,
I am an inmate of love,
cause I can’t get through.

I am kept inside a cage,
cause of my being in love state,
I am kept inside a cage,
solely because you are afraid.

I’m wearing striped pyjamas,
cause I let you put me down.
I’m wearing striped pyjamas,
You make me feel like a clown.

I am locked up,
Even though I have so much to offer,
I am locked up,
Just for being your lover.

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