Tag Archives: bpd

Heartbreak

Is it wrong?

When I close my eyes,
My eyes still see,
They show me you,
And your gorgeousness kills me.

When I finally shut up,
Inside, it is my heart that speaks up,
Making me feel so weak,
Cause deep down I know what’s up.

Is it wrong though, to be in love with this man?
It has been so long though, being in love with this friend.
When the palms of my hands are facing upwards,
I feel your fingers slide nextto mine.

I miss it so much, walking in the streets hand in hand,
Boy, as a couple we looked so damn fine.
Why can’t I have what I really really want?
I know I am weak, but is it bad to love a guy?

Is it wrong to want to give him my all?
Or am I just living in a big lie?

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Heartbreak

Push factor

What’s up, I said,
I’ll do it alone, you said
But to you that must have been different,
than what it like sounded in my head.

I want to be there for you,
As a lover, as a friend,
but yet you won’t let me,
and that’s just got me bend.

I am knocking on your door,
Until my knuckles bleed.
But yet you won’t let me in,
Am I not what you need?

You want to stay lonely,
While I am ready to give you my all,
You keep on being that push factor
Are you so afraid to let go of the control?

No matter how much love I want to give,
You have to be open to receive,
I can’t keep standing in front of a door closed,
cause that is against what I believe.

Love should be a two way thing,
Not just sharing a house together,
You will have to open up yourself,
Even if that does not seem for the better.

It feels lonely and stupid to be standing here.
I guess you are not ready to give me your all,
But I am not ready to give up yet,
Cause I already took that fall.

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Heartbreak

Wrong

What is wrong with me
for loving you so?
I have asked myself
over and over again.

What happened to me
to make me fall so deep
into unconditional love
with you.

it might be a question
I never get the answer to.
cause this love will
probably stay unanswered.

it might be a question
I never want the answer to
cause it hurts you
and might take me down too.

is that even the question though?
I wonder, is this about me?
is it about my fault for falling for you,
or is about your unwillingness to deal?

what happened to you
to make you shut out
this beautiful love I am
ready to give?

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Heartbreak

Losing time

You caught me by surprise,
everytime I would see you.
Time would just be slipping through my fingers,
and it felt so good.

The controlfreak letting go,
being in a most zen state,
feeling home, feeling free,
just by one date.

More dates followed,
and the feeling did not change,
Time and time again,
it was like quiet sand in an hourglass.

The other day you told me,
you love that feeling too,
together we lose the time,
but it definitely ain’t time lost.

It meant so much to me,
to hear you say these things,
but it seems you have been taken them back,
since a few days.

You have been off the radar,
that is just your thing,
but this thing between us,
I really started to believe in.

Now it feels like time is not on my side,
Like our time started ticking,
racing to that moment that we both know is coming,
is our time running out?

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Heartbreak

Knowing you

You came into my life,

I was starstruck, wow,

I knew I had to know you,

but I am not so sure now.

 

Knowing you hurts.

My life was good,

when I did not know,

You existed, boo.

 

Now my life consists,

out of longing for a special connection,

like we had, and still have,

that I even see in my reflection.

 

Cause I see that you have touched me,

My look has changed tremendously,

Like a mother when she had her first child,

filled with love but no longer free.

 

Knowing you hurts,

Cause everyone else is not,

No one can be you,

you stuck around in my thoughts.

 

Your face is printed in my brain,

The magic that we were together,

And I do try and look,

But I will find nothing better.

 

Knowing you hurts,

cause you are out there,

and even if you weren’t,

I’d know you are somewhere.

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Happiness

I had to put them there

I saw it coming from the start,

But still it came as a surprise.
Me carrying around this heavy heart,
Cause yours is made of ice.
Tonight you said those words out loud,
Words I had to put there first,
Cause you feel like a fraud,
Not realizing you did the worst.
Immediately I felt sorry for you,
it must be awful feeling like this,
But not long after I realised the truth,
all those things about you I will miss.
I don’t know what hurts more,
Not being loved by the one,
Or not being able to kiss you anymore,
Can’t believe everything is gone.
Now we are no longer speaking,
And I don’t even act like I’m OK,
I can’t, I constantly hear my voice squeaking,
Will there ever be a better day?
Please tell me things will be less bad,
I can’t bare being without him,
I thought time would make me less sad,
But months later my heart’s still grimm.
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Heartbreak

No belief

My mind knows things

but my heart won’t listen

My friends tell me no

but your face screams yes

I belief in this thing called love

this thing you aren’t capable of

I’d like to lie to myself about it too,

all to disguise how much I love you.

Being with you is like going to a masquerade,

at first I’m nervous, a bit afraid.

But soon I notice I do not have to be,

We are hiding, even though it’s just you and me.

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Heartbreak

Heart stolen

You stole my heart,

it sounds adorable,

but it isn’t.

in fact, it’s quite awful.

 

You stealing my heart,

meaning it is all yours.

I can no longer have it,

I do not control its course.

 

You stole it,

and with you being gone,

it is officially missing,

and that is just wrong.

 

I have nothing to give,

nothing to offer a new you,

cause there’s just a black hole,

and a girl feeling blue.

 

It took me a long time to see,

that I needed my heart returned.

I am still not sure of it,

but you really got me burned.

 

I am still thinking about you,

still you take my breath away,

but I need to own my heart again,

to live and love another day.

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