Heartbreak

Wrong

What is wrong with me
for loving you so?
I have asked myself
over and over again.

What happened to me
to make me fall so deep
into unconditional love
with you.

it might be a question
I never get the answer to.
cause this love will
probably stay unanswered.

it might be a question
I never want the answer to
cause it hurts you
and might take me down too.

is that even the question though?
I wonder, is this about me?
is it about my fault for falling for you,
or is about your unwillingness to deal?

what happened to you
to make you shut out
this beautiful love I am
ready to give?

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Heartbreak

Losing time

You caught me by surprise,
everytime I would see you.
Time would just be slipping through my fingers,
and it felt so good.

The controlfreak letting go,
being in a most zen state,
feeling home, feeling free,
just by one date.

More dates followed,
and the feeling did not change,
Time and time again,
it was like quiet sand in an hourglass.

The other day you told me,
you love that feeling too,
together we lose the time,
but it definitely ain’t time lost.

It meant so much to me,
to hear you say these things,
but it seems you have been taken them back,
since a few days.

You have been off the radar,
that is just your thing,
but this thing between us,
I really started to believe in.

Now it feels like time is not on my side,
Like our time started ticking,
racing to that moment that we both know is coming,
is our time running out?

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Heartbreak

Knowing you

You came into my life,

I was starstruck, wow,

I knew I had to know you,

but I am not so sure now.

 

Knowing you hurts.

My life was good,

when I did not know,

You existed, boo.

 

Now my life consists,

out of longing for a special connection,

like we had, and still have,

that I even see in my reflection.

 

Cause I see that you have touched me,

My look has changed tremendously,

Like a mother when she had her first child,

filled with love but no longer free.

 

Knowing you hurts,

Cause everyone else is not,

No one can be you,

you stuck around in my thoughts.

 

Your face is printed in my brain,

The magic that we were together,

And I do try and look,

But I will find nothing better.

 

Knowing you hurts,

cause you are out there,

and even if you weren’t,

I’d know you are somewhere.

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Happiness

I had to put them there

I saw it coming from the start,

But still it came as a surprise.
Me carrying around this heavy heart,
Cause yours is made of ice.
Tonight you said those words out loud,
Words I had to put there first,
Cause you feel like a fraud,
Not realizing you did the worst.
Immediately I felt sorry for you,
it must be awful feeling like this,
But not long after I realised the truth,
all those things about you I will miss.
I don’t know what hurts more,
Not being loved by the one,
Or not being able to kiss you anymore,
Can’t believe everything is gone.
Now we are no longer speaking,
And I don’t even act like I’m OK,
I can’t, I constantly hear my voice squeaking,
Will there ever be a better day?
Please tell me things will be less bad,
I can’t bare being without him,
I thought time would make me less sad,
But months later my heart’s still grimm.
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Heartbreak

No belief

My mind knows things

but my heart won’t listen

My friends tell me no

but your face screams yes

I belief in this thing called love

this thing you aren’t capable of

I’d like to lie to myself about it too,

all to disguise how much I love you.

Being with you is like going to a masquerade,

at first I’m nervous, a bit afraid.

But soon I notice I do not have to be,

We are hiding, even though it’s just you and me.

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Heartbreak

Heart stolen

You stole my heart,

it sounds adorable,

but it isn’t.

in fact, it’s quite awful.

 

You stealing my heart,

meaning it is all yours.

I can no longer have it,

I do not control its course.

 

You stole it,

and with you being gone,

it is officially missing,

and that is just wrong.

 

I have nothing to give,

nothing to offer a new you,

cause there’s just a black hole,

and a girl feeling blue.

 

It took me a long time to see,

that I needed my heart returned.

I am still not sure of it,

but you really got me burned.

 

I am still thinking about you,

still you take my breath away,

but I need to own my heart again,

to live and love another day.

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Heartbreak

Oxygen

It was not meant to happen this way.
We were never supposed to stick this long.
A summer fling, is what I would say.
But now even the autumn leaves are long gone.

This was not supposed to happen, boo
You aren’t even built for a love like this.
Yet every extra moment I get with you,
fills my heart with so much bliss.

It’s the moments we are not together,
that make me feel useless.
No matter how many changes of weather,
We keep on doing this.

Am I just convenient to you man,
Or is this big love distorted by your mind?
Please share it if you can,
Cause what I have to give is so kind.

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Heartbreak

Gone, heart, gone

I gave you a year of my attention,

But what I did not realize,

was how my heart is now yours,

for the rest of my life.

 

You have captured it,

without really trying hard.

It belongs to you now,

even now that we’re apart.

 

Of course I take steps,

little ones, to move on.

to get you outta my head,

but you are never gone.

 

I will always carry a piece of you,

with me, its sad.

I wish I could enjoy another love,

without you in my head.

 

I wish the thought of you would no longer,

take my breath away.

I wish my heart was stronger,

so it could get away from you one day.

 

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Heartbreak

Secret identity

You are waiting for me,
as I am on my way to you.
Looking forward to seeing each other,
but deep down I feel blue.

I am close to your doorstep now.
Every time I am about to hold you again,
I realize that this is not forever.
I remember myself to enjoy it while I still can.

You open the door and as I see your face,
I can’t help but smile, ear to ear.
You press me against you, lovingly,
and away goes my fear.

Our moments together are everything,
But after I feel so low.
The greatest thing I have for you,
Is living in the shadow.

The feelings of love set in,
But I can’t show you that part of me,
The cool girl is who I am on the outside.
And inside, my secret identity

 

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