Tag Archives: poetry

Struggle

Two sides

She was a happy girl.
A heart full of love and friends,
A head filled with many plans.
Ready to rule the world .

Now she is just a shadow.
Sitting in dark alone.
Insides are just made of stone.
Not looking forward to tomorrow.

Tomorrow she might be fun again,
but everyone will ask where she was.
They might already know the cause,
But one thing they will never understand.

That girl being so enthusiastic,
she does often feel bliss in her heart,
but she is also the other part,
that everyone finds less fantastic.

Especially cause eventually they will always know.
the deep dark days in this girls mind,
the constant love she is trying to find.
Her scars, they will always show.

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Heartbreak

Cut it out

I saw it coming long ago.
Feeling the tension building up,
The urge to stick it in and not let go.
Not knowing how to stop.

I know exactly why I am doing this,
As soon as I push the blade into the skin,
I feel the pressure fading away.
A lovely feeling of comfort setting in.

As I lay down, watching the red,
I know I had to do this.
But the longer I lay there on my bed,
The more I feel stupid for being this.

Being this girl I was 15 years ago.
The girl with the pentagrammed arm.
The good feeling of that blood flow,
Makes room for that feeling of regret.

As I look at my arm, scratches allover,
I feel so silly, knowing everyone will see,
I hate this post hurt hangover,
This is not who I wish to be.

They limit me to my scars,
Or my fresh wounds to be pricize,
May be it is me limiting myself,
As I am the one paying the price.

Realising this, still looking at my arm,
Feeling so stupid, so much regret,
I still hold the blade in my hand,
Wanting to cut again, yet trying to forget.

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Happiness

Good morning

Soft sheets, warm matras,
your body laying next to me
your fingers gently stroking me
I kiss your messy hair.

as the sun rays start to come in
we start talking, about everything.
a relaxed conversation,
while I lovingly crawl towards you.

I ask you about your guitar
hanging proud above your bed
you smile, and grab it for me
you a play a tune, you softly start singing

i can only watch,
watch your fingers play,
listen to your sweet voice
not even hearing the lyrics.

so infatuated with you,
on this beautiful morning,

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Heartbreak, Sexy stuff

Not you

Watching a movie in the dark,
We try to sit as close as we can.
I feel your skin against my skin.
while our fingers reach out to hold hands.

Your touch takes my breath away,
The darkness of the room sets the mood,
Tonight I do not want to be nice,
Tonight I do not want to be cute.

Slowly I turn my head to look at you,
You already lean in to kiss me,
I feel your warm lips on mine,
Your playful tongue makes me dizzy.

I really want to be in this moment,
I want to feel it, really feel it my heart,
But somehow my mind wanders off,
Somehow you cannot have that part.

Painful as it is it is his face that I see,
Everytime I close my eyes,
though your love makes me feel so free,
It will simply not suffice.

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Happiness

Look at you

Cheap candles burning,
Guitar music playing in the background,
your friends on the couch,
me right here, safe and sound.

It is not perfect,
but it is perfect to me.
the cracks might already be showing,
but this evening is lovely, don’t you agree?

sometimes I can’t look at you,
afraid my heart will beat right out of my chest,
and I might say three little words,
hoping for the best.

I will possibly never tell you,
but I will never forget about this,
just looking at you enjoying yourself,
feeling inside so much bliss.

it is like I am a different person,
a super hero being more than one,
being able to love you like this,
knowing that one day you’ll be gone.

for now though, I am just sitting here,
looking at you, being a fool,
feeling the strongest feeling of all,
trying to be casual and cool.

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Happiness

Welcome Winter

Snow flakes are pressed against the window,
before the wind takes them away,
while we’re just being cosy inside,
having a wonderful, relaxing day,

I love going out of the house now,
dressed a bit too summery for the weather,
feeling winter put his icy arms around me,
freezing, but that does not matter.

People are making a snow man outside,
in Holland though the snow never stays,
some people already long for more light,
but I dread those summery days.

I wish it could be winter forever,
the blistering cold makes me feel alive again,
but soon it will be spring,
and it will be so long till another winter then.

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Heartbreak

Shut the frontdoor

Standing at my front door,
You lean in for an epic kiss,
It could have been the start of something,
But yet it is the end of this.

You give me one last look,
Your eyes spark as you say bye,
As if you know you will see me next time,
But I am not so sure, am I?

I feel so empty inside.
It’s a sense of grief.
Weighing heavy on my heart,
Everytime you leave.

And when you leave then,
I try to stay happy but I can’t.
Cause you are not my friend,
Yet you are not my man.

Is it because I pour all my love on you?
My heart just seems to run out.
And then I am just alone,
Filled with questions, filled with doubt.

And when you leave, then,
This emptiness, it’s there again,
Cause you are not my friend,
Yet you are not my man.
My struggle is not obvious to you,
I do not think you understand this.
I do not think you are interested.
that it’s always you I miss.

And when you walk out, damn,
With empty hands I stand.
Cause you are not my friend,
Yet you are not my man.

And until the next date then,
in text messages I will just pretend,
Not to care bout you not being my friend,
Not to cry bout you not being my man.

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Heartbreak

Distorted

When I look at your face,
I see a beautiful smile,
It makes me feel like a million bucks,
Makes me want to go the extra mile.

When I look again,
The same smile is there,
but now it looks like a grin,
As if you don’t care.

Every little thing you do
is put under a microscope
Always explained in multiple ways
with the negative ones I have to cope.

Everything about us seems so distorted,
this was supposed to be a summer fling,
months later we are suddenly together,
though we are both weird about this love thing.

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Heartbreak, Struggle

All applicable

There, you said it.
The words are out.
I feel like shit.
Filled with doubt.

You are unable.
to love someone like me,
I feel unstable,
There’s so much more we could be.

It’s that time,
when all love songs apply.
I break down and cry,
Why can’t you love me, why?

No matter what I listen to,
Everything sounds familiair,
Both the happy feeling of loving you,
And the heartbreak, the dispair.

You sit next to me, quietly,
You wait for me to ease your pain,
Yet you do not set me free,
It is slowly driving me insane.

Often love takes over,
Especially when we get closer,

Sometimes I get sober,
But still I don’t want us to be over.

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Heartbreak

How long?

Will it be days, months?
Your love will not complete me,
we will never make it,
as it will destroy and defeat me.

Will you ever say them,
those three little words,
will you ever set yourself aside,
and put me first?

I want you so much,
my heart aches,
yet you don’t feel that way,
my heart breaks,

does it matter what I say?
can I mean something to you?
or am I just convenient for now,
will you ever follow through.

It’s like the love I feel;
is devouring me from within,
it’s like the love you lack,
is an addictive thing.

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