Tag Archives: bpd

Heartbreak

Oxygen

It was not meant to happen this way.
We were never supposed to stick this long.
A summer fling, is what I would say.
But now even the autumn leaves are long gone.

This was not supposed to happen, boo
You aren’t even built for a love like this.
Yet every extra moment I get with you,
fills my heart with so much bliss.

It’s the moments we are not together,
that make me feel useless.
No matter how many changes of weather,
We keep on doing this.

Am I just convenient to you man,
Or is this big love distorted by your mind?
Please share it if you can,
Cause what I have to give is so kind.

Standard
Heartbreak

Gone, heart, gone

I gave you a year of my attention,

But what I did not realize,

was how my heart is now yours,

for the rest of my life.

 

You have captured it,

without really trying hard.

It belongs to you now,

even now that we’re apart.

 

Of course I take steps,

little ones, to move on.

to get you outta my head,

but you are never gone.

 

I will always carry a piece of you,

with me, its sad.

I wish I could enjoy another love,

without you in my head.

 

I wish the thought of you would no longer,

take my breath away.

I wish my heart was stronger,

so it could get away from you one day.

 

Standard
Heartbreak

Secret identity

You are waiting for me,
as I am on my way to you.
Looking forward to seeing each other,
but deep down I feel blue.

I am close to your doorstep now.
Every time I am about to hold you again,
I realize that this is not forever.
I remember myself to enjoy it while I still can.

You open the door and as I see your face,
I can’t help but smile, ear to ear.
You press me against you, lovingly,
and away goes my fear.

Our moments together are everything,
But after I feel so low.
The greatest thing I have for you,
Is living in the shadow.

The feelings of love set in,
But I can’t show you that part of me,
The cool girl is who I am on the outside.
And inside, my secret identity

 

Standard
Happiness

Consciously insane

I do not always lay on my bed crying.
Really I don’t.
I do not always smile while dying inside.
Really I don’t.

On good days you will see me strut.
walking confidently through the streets.
Or doing household tasks happily
with a big smile on my face.

It is conscious insanity,
all triggered by your existence.
it is knowingly being crazy,
all triggered by your resistance.

Sweet and sour,
Cold and hot.
Sit and stand.
Winter and summer.

You are all these things wrapped into one.
making me feel on top of the world or totally done.
you make me insane and that is okay,
you make me insane and that is okay.

Standard
Heartbreak

Tell me

You tell your friends
I am your girlfriend
but you forgot to tell me.

I tell my friends
that I love you
and yet I do not tell you.

There is always this odd space
between the two of us.
It’s full of question marks.
I am not sure if it bothers you,
you are not sure if it bothers me,
it is just there.

is it making our love stronger?
or is it keeping us from going deeper?
is this even love?

Tell me man,
cause I’ve been waiting
as patiently as I can be.

tell me man,
cause you make me
so much better than I could ever be.

Standard
Heartbreak

A thousand suns

Sitting on a bus together.
You are falling asleep,
but before you do,
you look at me.

As our eyes meet
you start to smile, twinkling eyes
you do something to me
a little paradise.

it’s like you put a thousand suns
deep inside of me, boo
and as they shine,
their rays shine right back at you.

you seem to be wearing sunglasses though.
hopelessly unfortunate,
I have so much to give.
But you will never know any of it.

yet I sit next to you on the bus
feeling the warmth inside
wishing my love would fade away
and yet wishing you’d hold me tight.

Standard
Happiness

I noticed

We are a war zone of mixed signals.
One moment you make my heart cold.
With your Tinder swipin’ egotistical behaviour,
Do you think I don’t know you can’t be that bold?

And then there are the times that you don’t hurt me.
Instead, you make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
It is when you take off your glove to hold my hand,
Or buy the magazine for which I write.

We are a war zone of mixed signals.
I can talk about them with my friends forever,
I keep on fantasising what we could be.
Even though I know that is not clever.

The thing is: you do something to me.
Even though we fire our weapons good and bad,
my heart always picks the positive things,
and wants to forget those that make me sad.

In our war zone of mixed signals that is a stupid thing to do,
My little old heart is taking risks, man
But it is not a wrong thing to do,
cause I am open to loving you in any way I can.

And while I am at it,
I will keep on noticing the little things you do,
Like holding a door, calling me your girlfriend to your friends,
and all those other things that make me love you.

Standard
Heartbreak

Permission

I open up to people easily,
No issues with being closed.
And I have loved before,
But this time I overdosed.

See, my mind might be tough,
But my heart is a fragile thing.
I never allowed anyone to break it but you,
And now I can’t feel anything.

I knew you’d take me and break me
But I wouldn’t go down without a fight.
Right when I first laid eyes on you,
Heartbreak at first sight.

Why did I let you do this to me.
I never let anyone come this close before.
The question keeps going through my mind,
as I lay crying on the bathroom floor.

I’m right at that spot where we made love,
we would be so into one another,
we would forget about time,
And I didn’t even bother.

I did not just fall in love with your mind.
I miss your beautiful body so much,
It’s tough to picture it,
Not sure if I can live without your touch.

I let another man steal a kiss,
one that was meant for you, only,
I was only thinking of you,
feeling numb and lonely.

I used to be in control,
But you have awakened this other me,
A soul that does not want to get over you,
A soul that will never truly be free.

 

Standard
Heartbreak

Hole

It is funny how it only takes one letter,
to make a hole whole again.
While in reality it takes a lifetime.
and many many wrong men.

She wanted to be loved,
she was longing for the big L O V E,
so many mistakes were made,
time and time she failed to see.

A huge krater was in her heart,
a black pit of nothingness,
it would never go away,
with no kiss, no caress.

as she grew older, nothing changed.
she is still longing for that special thing.
but she did not realise,
real love comes from within.

Standard