Consciously insane

I do not always lay on my bed crying.
Really I don’t.
I do not always smile while dying inside.
Really I don’t.

On good days you will see me strut.
walking confidently through the streets.
Or doing household tasks happily
with a big smile on my face.

It is conscious insanity,
all triggered by your existence.
it is knowingly being crazy,
all triggered by your resistance.

Sweet and sour,
Cold and hot.
Sit and stand.
Winter and summer.

You are all these things wrapped into one.
making me feel on top of the world or totally done.
you make me insane and that is okay,
you make me insane and that is okay.


I noticed

We are a war zone of mixed signals.
One moment you make my heart cold.
With your Tinder swipin’ egotistical behaviour,
Do you think I don’t know you can’t be that bold?

And then there are the times that you don’t hurt me.
Instead, you make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
It is when you take off your glove to hold my hand,
Or buy the magazine for which I write.

We are a war zone of mixed signals.
I can talk about them with my friends forever,
I keep on fantasising what we could be.
Even though I know that is not clever.

The thing is: you do something to me.
Even though we fire our weapons good and bad,
my heart always picks the positive things,
and wants to forget those that make me sad.

In our war zone of mixed signals that is a stupid thing to do,
My little old heart is taking risks, man
But it is not a wrong thing to do,
cause I am open to loving you in any way I can.

And while I am at it,
I will keep on noticing the little things you do,
Like holding a door, calling me your girlfriend to your friends,
and all those other things that make me love you.

Happiness, Heartbreak


You are gone now.
Still some beer for you
in the fridge,
doesn’t matter now.

You choose to walk away.
My wet eyes watched you leave,
but I knew it wouldn’t matter,
cause I love you anyway.

You think I will forget about this,
This love, this thing between
us two.
But you don’t know what love is.

See, I will forever have feelings for you,
no matter if I find someone new,
no matter the time or the distance,
between us two.

So now I am alone.
But when you check my Instagram,
realize that this girl,
made you her number one.

Not just now that I am without you,
But whenever, whereever,
Whomever I will be with,
I will never not love you, boo

I hope soon you will understand
and really feel it in your heart,
that my door will forever be open,
cause by you I will always stand.



You were late but that’s okay,
As soon as you walked upon stage,
the world faded away.

I started crying when you sang Solo,
Couldn’t believe we were in this moment,
I felt my love for you grow.

The way you carried yourself,
that vibe around you,
made me shine like I never do.

It was magical to finally see that man,
that man that I listen to every day,
Don’t worry, I am not some Stan.

We were in this moment together,
I think our eyes even met,
after feeling low I’ve felt so much better.

There is something magical about you,
I have such a deep appreciation for that,
how you sing these words, so true.

When I think back about that eve,
I feel such bliss inside,
even though our moment was just brief.

Your music means so much to the world,
you touch peoples hearts,
thank you from the heart of a very happy girl.


The sweet side of life

Again, some older work, from when I was 17 years old, a happy one for once, kinda ­čśë

Laughing and smiling the whole time,
Happiness has come into my heart again.
Now I can truly say I feel fine,
What’s left to worry about?

Now that lovely feeling’s back,
I can’t think of anything bad,
and I don’t want to try it too,
It’s so good, not to feel sad,

My heart is filled with flowers,
Springtime has come early this year,
I could dream bout it all for hours,
Feels like there’s nothing left to fear.

Oh, wonderful world,
Oh, wonderful life,

I’m floating around in heaven,
It’s only for a second may be.
But I will keep on laughing,
The sweet side of life I see.


Good morning

Soft sheets, warm matras,
your body laying next to me
your fingers gently stroking me
I kiss your messy hair.

as the sun rays start to come in
we start talking, about everything.
a relaxed conversation,
while I lovingly crawl towards you.

I ask you about your guitar
hanging proud above your bed
you smile, and grab it for me
you a play a tune, you softly start singing

i can only watch,
watch your fingers play,
listen to your sweet voice
not even hearing the lyrics.

so infatuated with you,
on this beautiful morning,


Look at you

Cheap candles burning,
Guitar music playing in the background,
your friends on the couch,
me right here, safe and sound.

It is not perfect,
but it is perfect to me.
the cracks might already be showing,
but this evening is lovely, don’t you agree?

sometimes I can’t look at you,
afraid my heart will beat right out of my chest,
and I might say three little words,
hoping for the best.

I will possibly never tell you,
but I will never forget about this,
just looking at you enjoying yourself,
feeling inside so much bliss.

it is like I am a different person,
a super hero being more than one,
being able to love you like this,
knowing that one day you’ll be gone.

for now though, I am just sitting here,
looking at you, being a fool,
feeling the strongest feeling of all,
trying to be casual and cool.


Welcome Winter

Snow flakes are pressed against the window,
before the wind takes them away,
while we’re just being cosy inside,
having a wonderful, relaxing day,

I love going out of the house now,
dressed a bit too summery for the weather,
feeling winter put his icy arms around me,
freezing, but that does not matter.

People are making a snow man outside,
in Holland though the snow never stays,
some people already long for more light,
but I dread those summery days.

I wish it could be winter forever,
the blistering cold makes me feel alive again,
but soon it will be spring,
and it will be so long till another winter then.


The silence within me

There are never enough hours in a day,
I am simply never through.
Work is piling up, it never stops.
But I find relaxation in you.

Nothing is ever enough,
An inbox is never really empty,
In a world of too much,
But you make me feel free.

The world keeps turning,
There’s always something new to see,
Heads keep spinning,
But you offer a piece of tranquility.

Deadlines are heavy on my shoulders,
There are mountains of paperwork to climb.
it’s not easy stepping off the daily tredmill.
But you make me forget the time.

It’s a daily fight, falling in and out of love,
Always being afraid of the day things get dull,
Looking for problems is no use though,
Cause with you everything is peaceful.

People try to break whatever is between us.
Everybody thinks they have the key.
I have decided not to care anymore,
Cause you feel like a holiday to me.


For a friend

If love is the greatest thing in the world,
Why has it been feeling like the worst?
Just asking for a friend.

If making love is the ultimate way of becoming one,
Why is it often the start of goodbye?
Again, just asking for a friend.

My friend would also like to know,
Why the guy is holding her hand so perfectly,
When we are outside, is it just for show?

My friend wonders about that hand,
Cause that is an act of the heart,
The same heart that cast her out.

What it really comes down to is this,
Does love need to be easy?
Can’t wait to hear back from you.


A friend