Tag Archives: poem

Happiness

The sweet side of life

Again, some older work, from when I was 17 years old, a happy one for once, kinda 😉

Laughing and smiling the whole time,
Happiness has come into my heart again.
Now I can truly say I feel fine,
What’s left to worry about?

Now that lovely feeling’s back,
I can’t think of anything bad,
and I don’t want to try it too,
It’s so good, not to feel sad,

My heart is filled with flowers,
Springtime has come early this year,
I could dream bout it all for hours,
Feels like there’s nothing left to fear.

Oh, wonderful world,
Oh, wonderful life,

I’m floating around in heaven,
It’s only for a second may be.
But I will keep on laughing,
The sweet side of life I see.

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Happiness

Good morning

Soft sheets, warm matras,
your body laying next to me
your fingers gently stroking me
I kiss your messy hair.

as the sun rays start to come in
we start talking, about everything.
a relaxed conversation,
while I lovingly crawl towards you.

I ask you about your guitar
hanging proud above your bed
you smile, and grab it for me
you a play a tune, you softly start singing

i can only watch,
watch your fingers play,
listen to your sweet voice
not even hearing the lyrics.

so infatuated with you,
on this beautiful morning,

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Happiness

Look at you

Cheap candles burning,
Guitar music playing in the background,
your friends on the couch,
me right here, safe and sound.

It is not perfect,
but it is perfect to me.
the cracks might already be showing,
but this evening is lovely, don’t you agree?

sometimes I can’t look at you,
afraid my heart will beat right out of my chest,
and I might say three little words,
hoping for the best.

I will possibly never tell you,
but I will never forget about this,
just looking at you enjoying yourself,
feeling inside so much bliss.

it is like I am a different person,
a super hero being more than one,
being able to love you like this,
knowing that one day you’ll be gone.

for now though, I am just sitting here,
looking at you, being a fool,
feeling the strongest feeling of all,
trying to be casual and cool.

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Happiness

Welcome Winter

Snow flakes are pressed against the window,
before the wind takes them away,
while we’re just being cosy inside,
having a wonderful, relaxing day,

I love going out of the house now,
dressed a bit too summery for the weather,
feeling winter put his icy arms around me,
freezing, but that does not matter.

People are making a snow man outside,
in Holland though the snow never stays,
some people already long for more light,
but I dread those summery days.

I wish it could be winter forever,
the blistering cold makes me feel alive again,
but soon it will be spring,
and it will be so long till another winter then.

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Heartbreak

Shut the frontdoor

Standing at my front door,
You lean in for an epic kiss,
It could have been the start of something,
But yet it is the end of this.

You give me one last look,
Your eyes spark as you say bye,
As if you know you will see me next time,
But I am not so sure, am I?

I feel so empty inside.
It’s a sense of grief.
Weighing heavy on my heart,
Everytime you leave.

And when you leave then,
I try to stay happy but I can’t.
Cause you are not my friend,
Yet you are not my man.

Is it because I pour all my love on you?
My heart just seems to run out.
And then I am just alone,
Filled with questions, filled with doubt.

And when you leave, then,
This emptiness, it’s there again,
Cause you are not my friend,
Yet you are not my man.
My struggle is not obvious to you,
I do not think you understand this.
I do not think you are interested.
that it’s always you I miss.

And when you walk out, damn,
With empty hands I stand.
Cause you are not my friend,
Yet you are not my man.

And until the next date then,
in text messages I will just pretend,
Not to care bout you not being my friend,
Not to cry bout you not being my man.

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Heartbreak

Distorted

When I look at your face,
I see a beautiful smile,
It makes me feel like a million bucks,
Makes me want to go the extra mile.

When I look again,
The same smile is there,
but now it looks like a grin,
As if you don’t care.

Every little thing you do
is put under a microscope
Always explained in multiple ways
with the negative ones I have to cope.

Everything about us seems so distorted,
this was supposed to be a summer fling,
months later we are suddenly together,
though we are both weird about this love thing.

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Heartbreak, Struggle

All applicable

There, you said it.
The words are out.
I feel like shit.
Filled with doubt.

You are unable.
to love someone like me,
I feel unstable,
There’s so much more we could be.

It’s that time,
when all love songs apply.
I break down and cry,
Why can’t you love me, why?

No matter what I listen to,
Everything sounds familiair,
Both the happy feeling of loving you,
And the heartbreak, the dispair.

You sit next to me, quietly,
You wait for me to ease your pain,
Yet you do not set me free,
It is slowly driving me insane.

Often love takes over,
Especially when we get closer,

Sometimes I get sober,
But still I don’t want us to be over.

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Struggle

Take the fall?

I have found my poetry book from 14 years ago, which is giving me quite some insights. This is one of them:

All things have an end,
just as their beginnings.
But have all things got,
a point of no return?

 

Will there be one in every situation?
I guess it is just the way of handling it.
When you act wrong, you’ll get in a bad position.
But on the other hand, life is about choices.

People make mistakes, why?
We don’t know, we just say it’s human.
People make wrong choices,
And while hurting other people, it’s still a human mistake.

When is the point where a mistake isn’t human anymore?
Who decides?
I’m on the edge now, the point of no return, shall I take the fall?
Or walk back into your arms like there’s nothing wrong at all?

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Heartbreak

I want out

I want out, is what I wanted to say to you
But to even think that, hurts.
I don’t want to be without you,
but I can’t stand not being in control.

I can’t handle it well, how my magic does not work,
I wish you were in as deeply as little old me
so you could see and feel the horror,
the constant thinking about the other.

it’s like I totally lost myself cause you came around,
my heart is just lying there like a lost and found.
you picked it up, not sure if you wanted it,
and now I am stuck with you, kid.

if I could take a pill and forget about you
I probably would
thought the hopeless romantic in me, wouldn’t have understood.
the love I feel for you is amazing in many ways,
but it is tearing me down, fucking me up at the same time.

it’s like two people are pulling on me, one of them wanting me to stop,
yelling at me bout how stupid I am
that you don’t love me, not even close,
and that you probably fuck some other hoes.

and then there is the other person pulling me,
full of love, being angry with me for even thinking about an out.
making me feel butterflies and warmth,
taking my breath away when I look at you.

and I am in the midst not handling things well.
jumping from an ecstatically happy state
into a constant stream of nothingness and depression.
I don’t think you understand what is really here.

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Heartbreak

A battle to fight alone

How to love the one whose one is not you,
How to make your friends understand,
You are not a crazy person because of it,
but yet you and him still aren’t through.

For this love I am paying a high price.
Cause when I get home at night,
I can’t see which key to use,
through the tears in my eyes.

I try to cut my way to my heart,
Just to tell it to stop loving you.
To make it change its ways,
to make it easier for our ways to part.

I know responding this way is wrong,
Every morning after I realise that.
Disappointed, wishing my scars,
did not stick around so long.

Funny enough it is not even helping anymore,
Blood running down my fingers,
but yet no longer do I feel relieved.
I feel just as lonely and heartbroken as before.

These are just the battles I fight,
All alone, with no one being able to help,
Not sure how long my little army will hold on,
before I finally see the light.

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