Tag Archives: art

Struggle

Illusion of you

Another oldie:

I picture you in front of me,
I do that all the time.
I think about your soft lips,
And the fact that you are mine.

Then I shock myself,
I make myself feel miserable.
I realise you’re not mine.
And my illusion of you gets invisible.

Trying so hard just to get it back,
Just your face, your sweet eyes,
But it won’t work,
Cause they’re all just lies.

Lies of you, lies of me,
Stupid things that stand in between,
I gotta focus on the lovely you,
Cause that is all you have to be.

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Struggle

Take the fall?

I have found my poetry book from 14 years ago, which is giving me quite some insights. This is one of them:

All things have an end,
just as their beginnings.
But have all things got,
a point of no return?

 

Will there be one in every situation?
I guess it is just the way of handling it.
When you act wrong, you’ll get in a bad position.
But on the other hand, life is about choices.

People make mistakes, why?
We don’t know, we just say it’s human.
People make wrong choices,
And while hurting other people, it’s still a human mistake.

When is the point where a mistake isn’t human anymore?
Who decides?
I’m on the edge now, the point of no return, shall I take the fall?
Or walk back into your arms like there’s nothing wrong at all?

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Heartbreak

A battle to fight alone

How to love the one whose one is not you,
How to make your friends understand,
You are not a crazy person because of it,
but yet you and him still aren’t through.

For this love I am paying a high price.
Cause when I get home at night,
I can’t see which key to use,
through the tears in my eyes.

I try to cut my way to my heart,
Just to tell it to stop loving you.
To make it change its ways,
to make it easier for our ways to part.

I know responding this way is wrong,
Every morning after I realise that.
Disappointed, wishing my scars,
did not stick around so long.

Funny enough it is not even helping anymore,
Blood running down my fingers,
but yet no longer do I feel relieved.
I feel just as lonely and heartbroken as before.

These are just the battles I fight,
All alone, with no one being able to help,
Not sure how long my little army will hold on,
before I finally see the light.

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Heartbreak

A salty, soury thing

I asked you that night,
If you believed in unanswered love,
Your reply hurt me in a million ways,
especially when you blamed me for how hard I tried.

Why am I the one feeling so bad,
When you are the one not able to love?
Why am I something unclear to you,
While you are everything to me, it’s sad.

Why do they always sing
about the sweet stuff,
while love is mostly
a very salty, soury thing?

We are supposed to believe in fairytales,
And for a long time I did,
Silly me still thinks you are that prince,
But that is just my heart that fails.

The thing that hurts me the deepest,
is how you can’t seem to let me go.
You tell me you can’t love me,
but you do not want to be friends.

You do not want to miss out on me,
You hold me close, it’s almost a chokehold,
Just because you feel so guilty,
As you’re the reason we can’t be.

The cards have been played, boo
But I am not the one who shuffled,
Yet I need to make this decision,
But how do I unlove you?

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Struggle

Home

This thing between us,
It did not start in a standard way.
It was crazy and weird,
But it felt kinda okay.

For many reasons
we did not make it then.
We were in different places,
You were just a friend.

Things are all so different now,
Between us I mean.
But the people around me,
Do not seem too keen.

They find it hard to trust you,
Or even me, being under your spell,
They are afraid you are just hurting me,
That your love is putting me through hell.

To me it does not feel that way at all,
Not that it has been a walk in the park,
But I know how I feel,
And this is more than just a spark.

I know you are not perfect for me,
We might not even fit together,
But I feel so much when I look at you.
My worries away, I feel so much better.

No one will ever be able to understand,
You are not just some syndrome,
Yes, you have me on shaky ground,
But at the same time you feel like home.

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