Author Archives: Laura

Happiness

Dead butterflies

I feel them flapping their wings,

I sense their urge to fly and flutter,

Everytime I look into your eyes,

It is like my heart starts to stutter.

 

I cannot let it go this far,

Cause I know what you will say.

I am not ready to hear those words from you,

Not tomorrow, not today.

 

You will say the words I have heard,

a thousand times before.

And you will break the leftovers in my heart,

till there is no way of breaking them anymore.

 

Are there still butterflies in the world?

I keep on catching dead ones.

 

Are you not okay to just pick me,

Or is your heart not in it, though your mind is?

Is this dating in this day and age,

cause it makes it hard to feel bliss.

 

I want you so bad,

but it’s best giving you the cold shoulder, I guess,

You might even come around then,

when did love become such a mess?

 

Are there still butterflies in the world?

I keep on catching dead ones.

 

I am surprised I still feel them,

inside of me, waiting to spread their wings and fly,

even though I keep bumping into caterpillars,

they are just not ready to die.

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Sexy stuff

Ball and chain

I thought you were just playing games,

being your flirtatious little self.

Until you were not.
I thought we could just be friends,

even though you wanted to be silent.

Cause of your wife.
I thought there could have been stuff happening. 

I thought youd be open minded like that.

But it was just an act.
Now I am ready to take things to the next level,

I am waiting for that one sign.

Now that the fruit is forbidden.

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Struggle

They don’t understand

You are in my head,

like a Disney-song, stuck.

I tried so hard to get you out,

but I guess it wasn’t my luck.

 

They don’t understand my sorrow,

they have not lived it,

they don’t know the pain it causes,

how my soul is forever encrypted.

 

I still try to wrap my brain around it,

Even my friends do not understand.

but they look at me, trying to help,

it’s nice but it doesn’t work, dear friend.

 

They don’t understand my sorrow,

they have not felt the pain inside,

no insecurity about making the choice,

no salty tears like the ones I cried.

 

I look at you, knowing I should not,

It is as if looking at an open heart surgery,

You don’t want to look but it’s so fascinating,

loving you while knowing it will never be.

 

They don’t understand my sorrow,

they have not gone through it all,

no tears, no stress, no sleepless nights,

no feeling high before the fall.

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Struggle

Healing

Again, this is my older stuff, I was 17 years old when I wrote it, and for once it is not about boyfriends/girlfriends:
Thinking about it all day
Shall I tell them, would they care?
It doesn’t matter what I say,
Cause they’ll never be fair.

It always is a 2 tot 1 situation,
I´m always alone.
Now I’m facing it.
Is this my home?

I can speak my mind,
I can’t be who I am.
My aprents are just staring blind,
They think they know who I am.

Well, now I took the step.
I told them about my plan.
But they did not want to listen,
They think I don’t need a healing man.

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Struggle

Young girl

It’s funny the subject of this poem is a young girl, as I literally wrote this one when I was way younger: 16 years old to be precise:

I’m a youn girl with a life to live,
But I am not too young to know what I feel.
I’ve got so much to give.
And I know my feelings are real.

When I say you are handsome,
Or when I say that I care,
Don’t ask me where that came from,
Just see that it’s there.

I’m a young girl who is a little insecure,
So I can be depressed at a time,
But of love, you can’t ever be sure,
What I feel in this heart of mine.

You can even imagine, never,
Trust me, I know my little heart.
Though I might not be very clever,
You will always own a part.

Cause I am a young girl who might fall,
But my love, you have it all.

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Heartbreak

Offboarding

You checked out.

Before the plane had even landed.

We did not even fly that high,

But you got scared and wanted to offboard.

Didn’t you know this was against the rules?

There is a reason no one is offered a parachute in an airplane.

You do not just jump out,

when you go down, you go down together.

And when you fly high, you fly high together.

But I guess we never really did, did we?

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Heartbreak

Coward

All this time I have been alone.
And yet you doubt if you want to break up with me,
because you are afraid you might be lonely.
Like you were before you met me.

I can guarantee you will be,
Just like I was, all those years when I was with you.
Now I am done, and I am happy,
Cause now I am going to do me.

No matter how solo my dinners will be
No matter how many times I will visit the cinema alone,
I will never be lonely ever again,
Cause I have always taken care of people, the way you never could.

And I will always take care of myself, the way you never would.
Like any wonderful woman on this planet, I deserve the best,
So good luck with the rest of your life,
I am sure this turn of events you would have never guessed.

You are always way too busy with your own shit,
You did not even know that you were falling out of love,
But you know, the saddest bit,
is that you don’t realize what you are losing until it’s long gone.

And now you do not say a word.
You drop a bomb, but yet you are unwilling to take care of the victims,
Unwilling, unable perhaps?
Cowardly you await, until I make the final cut.

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Heartbreak

Bloody Mary

You always thought the cuts weren’t so deep,

But the physical scars are just the top,

There is a whole mountain of pain and suffering beneath,

But here’s where I ask you to stop.

You can’t help me, even if you would try,

Not that you will, but I just don’t want you to feel bad about it.

This is me, this is all I have ever been,

It is a sad story, but you don’t see me cry.

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